Fat-shaming has become so commonplace a behavior that society’s predisposition to think, act, and proceed in this particular manner is sometimes a knee-jerk response; second only to breathing. Skinny-shaming, which can be even more brutal and mean-spirited, is nearly as commonplace. Collectively, this cruelty is called Body-shaming, and frankly, it sucks.

It's difficult to reconcile either extreme, really. We are all different people; different bodies. Some people are born naturally curvier, some are leaner. That’s epigenetics, right? And then there’s lifestyle; and personal choice, or other factors, like mental health and internal struggles.

Iskra Lawrence is an Aerie Real Role Model and a Creator of NEDA Inspires.The #AerieReal campaign and Iskra’s message isn’t that women should necessarily have larger, curvier figures, but that they should embrace what they already have because #everyBodyisbeautiful.

Also, they promote Truth in Advertising: Aerie began #AerieReal in 2014 when the company stopped the use of Photoshop on its visuals in the intimates and swim space.

“It is my goal for the NEDA Inspires Seal of Approval to become an internationally recognized symbol for images and messages that are safely promoting body diversity, confidence, and self-love at any shape or size. We don’t belong in a one-size-fits-all box”, said Lawrence.

Iskra’s a very beautiful woman, and she looks healthy, happy and vibrant in her photographs.

However, her body isn’t necessarily “beautiful” by the modeling industry standards and it’s been subject to some very harsh scrutiny as of late. Judging by the fat-shaming, derogatory messages she’s received on social media, I’m not certain everyone’s embracing the natural “Non-Photoshopped” look.

My point is, she’s representing a very different look than we, as consumers, are accustomed to seeing, especially from a brand like American Eagle Outfitters.

Obviously, as a celebrity, Iskra is very active on social media platforms such as Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, and Instagram, in the latter having a recent unpleasant interaction when one follower attempted to completely annihilate Iskra with their uncomplimentary, fat-shaming comments:

The image reads: Follower @zseanzbrown posted: “Fat cow. It’s only cus every F****r on this planet is obese that that’s the norm… Plus-size models? give me a F*****g breaking. Everyone needs to stop eating McDonald’s, the NHS is f****d because of people like her eating too many bags of crisps.”

She didn’t seem fazed, but instead, responded publicly with a slow-mo video of enjoying the heck out of her “many bags of crisps” and with this racy photo:

She regularly posts tongue in cheek messages related to eating and body image pride. I applaud her terrific attitude but the thing is though, not everyone can let Fatshaming, Skinnyshaming, fill-in-the-blank Bodyshaming roll off their shoulders–even if they are famous.

Ever heard of a popular show called Prison Break? Ever heard of a popular actor called Wentworth Miller?

He had his own experience with Fatshaming. And this was after he was famous, mind you. So, here’s what happened: Wentworth Miller’s real. A person. A real live person. Imagine that! And he had some real shit going on in his life…Like real people do.

Anyway, to cope, Miller abused food; even developed an eating disorder. He’d been struggling with his sexual identity and battling Depression his entire life. See? Real stuff going on!

And because the actor was no longer as lean and ripped as he’d been while starring on Prison Break, he became an internet gawking target almost immediately. Yeah, he’d gained some weight; and now he looked kinda average. Big deal, right? The internet upper balcony sure thought it was, so they created this heartbreaking internet meme below:

His Response: “First and foremost, I was suicidal,” explaining that at the time, “eating became the one thing I could look forward to. The first time I saw this meme pop up in my social media feed, I have to admit, it hurt to breathe. But as with everything in life, I get to assign meaning. And the meaning I assign to this/my image is Strength. Healing. Forgiveness. Of myself and others.” Miller came out as gay in 2013. He’s since become an advocate for anti-suicide charities as well as the LGBT community. His entire response to the meme is below:

“Today I found myself the subject of an Internet meme. Not for the first time. This one, however, stands out from the rest. In 2010, semi-retired from acting, I was keeping a low-profile for a number of reasons.

First and foremost, I was suicidal. This is a subject I’ve since written about, spoken about, shared about.

But at the time, I suffered in silence. As so many do. The extent of my struggle known to very, very few. Ashamed and in pain, I considered myself damaged goods. And the voices in my head urged me down the path to self-destruction. Not for the first time.

I’ve struggled with depression since childhood. It’s a battle that’s cost me time, opportunities, relationships, and a thousand sleepless nights.

In 2010, at the lowest point in my adult life, I was looking everywhere for relief/comfort/distraction. And I turned to food. It could have been anything. Drugs. Alcohol. Sex. But eating became the one thing I could look forward to. Count on to get me through. There were stretches when the highlight of my week was a favorite meal and a new episode of TOP CHEF. Sometimes that was enough. Had to be.

And I put on weight. Big f–king deal.

One day, out for a hike in Los Angeles with a friend, we crossed paths with a film crew shooting a reality show. Unbeknownst to me, paparazzi were circling. They took my picture, and the photos were published alongside images of me from another time in my career. “Hunk To Chunk.” “Fit To Flab.” Etc. My mother has one of those “friends” who’s always the first to bring you bad news. They clipped one of these articles from a popular national magazine and mailed it to her. She called me, concerned. In 2010, fighting for my mental health, it was the last thing I needed. Long story short, I survived. So do those pictures. I’m glad. Now, when I see that image of me in my red t-shirt, a rare smile on my face, I am reminded of my struggle. My endurance and my perseverance in the face of all kinds of demons. Some within. Some without. Like a dandelion up through the pavement, I persist. Anyway. Still. Despite. If you or someone you know is struggling, help is available. Reach out. Text. Send an email. Pick up the phone. Someone cares. They’re waiting to hear from you. Much love.” – W.M. ‪#‎koalas‬‪#‎inneractivist‬‪#‎prisonbroken”

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Fatshaming, Skinnyshaming, Bodyshaming. None of it’s okay. Sticks and Stones. You never know what is going on in a person’s life; what they might be going through.

Fatshaming or Skinnyshaming, We Ought to Filter Our Words Instead of Our Photos.

This article was originally published on BlogHer.