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Hello Fall, Hello Pumpkin Spice

every white girl's dream

Ariel Norwood
Sep 22, 2015
Bethel University-MN
16
Hello Fall, Hello Pumpkin Spice
rack.2.mshcdn.com

Well, you made it.

On Wednesday, September 23, 2015, the day you have been waiting all year for has finally arrived. Yes, I am talking about fall, and yes, white girls, I am talking to you. You have spent the better part of the year extensively shopping for multiple pairs of the same black leggings, trying on 101 vests to see which ones really make you look like the perfect white girl edition of Han Solo(I mean, HELLO, STAR WARS SEASON IS UPON US), and have tirelessly been planning which is the perfect filter for your pumpkin patch selfies with which you will grace the world. That is all irrelevent though. I am not here to talk about your fashion sense or your obsessive insta posts. No, I am here to bless your little white girl(and boy) souls with the holy grail of fall necessities. That's right. PUMPKIN SPICE. You know it, you love it, and it comes in more ways than just a latte, my friends. Here is a little list bound to get you through this lovely season(you can thank me later):

1. Lattes


The true winner of the hearts of millions of white girls everywhere. These babies are guaranteed to burn a hole in your wallet all season long. Sure, there are many contenders in this category, but you know Starbucks will always be the one and only champs.

2. Pancakes

These are also a staple, can't go through a fall season without devouring some of these for breakfast (or hungover at 2 a.m. Ihop runs)

3. Oreos

Make some pumpkin spice milk to go along with these, and you will have it made.

4. Gum

Now even your breath will smell like a white girl.

5. PEEP

From now on, if the Easter Bunny doesn't bring you these bad boys, teach your dogs how to hunt rabbits because these are all you ever need in life.

6. Vodka

Giving a new definition to White Girl Wasted.

7. Nuts

They are even sold at the White Girl capitol store, TARGET.

8. Chapstick

Spend hours applying and reapplying after sipping your pumpkin spice lattes.

9. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.. MARSHMALLOWS

Crack open a pumpkin spice Four Loko(yes, these have those too) and roast these babies over an open fire.

10. Hommus

Finally, something for the white girls who long to be hipsters.

11. Cream Cheese

Bet all of you are running out to get bagels now! (Bonus points if you find pumpkin spice bagels to lather in pumpkin spice cream cheese)

12. Literally even Butter

Just put the sh*t on everything. If it wasn't Pumpkin Spice flavored before, it sure as hell can be now!

While this list doesn't contain any where near every pumpkin spice flavored thing in the world, like shampoos, M&Ms, candles, and dog biscuts(for every white girls' furry companion), it does give you a hearty idea of what you have to look forward to this season.

Prepare your wallets, prepare your tastebuds, and prepare to listen to groans from everyone around you as you order everything for the next 3 months in pumpkin spice.

Happy Fall!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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