Post-traumatic stress disorder more commonly known as PTSD disguises itself in different forms. Sometimes it looks a lot like depression. Not wanting to interact or be with people. Sometimes it looks like a smile with tears in your eyes. Mostly it is flashbacks of the event triggered by little things.
PTSD is caused by a traumatic event in someone's life. It could be assault, abuse, war, anything. Everyone talks about the #Metoo movement from different perspectives but for someone who went through the assault it takes a different perspective. Sexual assault something that no one should ever have to go through. It changed my life, in the worst way possible. Before the #Metoo movement or any advocates for survivors, you were by yourself in an event like this. Never knowing where to turn or who to trust. After it happened, the PTSD kicked in but it was not until 4 months later I was diagnosed. The nightmares, flashbacks and the feeling like it was my fault is what controlled my life those four months. I barely slept or ate and going to class was a fight every day. I stopped interacting with my friends, my family and I stopped caring about life. I finally dragged myself to see a counselor, where she diagnosed me with the PTSD. She was the first one I told after the incident and she supported me through it.
Counseling is where I found my safe spot. PTSD took over my life, and it still does. I lost my boyfriend at the time, my friends and my 3.0 GPA. He ruined me, I learned to rebuild myself though, I finally started dating again and I am strong enough to share my story now. The #Metoo movement gave me hope for survivors like myself, just knowing that life does go on. The nightmares and flashbacks still occur. Trust and intimacy with anyone is progress but life does go on. While the PTSD will never go away and years from now it will still affect me, what happened makes me who I am today. Whether I like it or not.
