I don’t think that I’ve ever endured anything quite like what I’ve endured this first semester of senior year. I felt like I could give up and be completely fine with it. Every time that I thought I was getting ahead, something pushed me back so many steps. I felt like this year was going to break me.

The work was piling on. The stress was adding up. I knew that I could break at any moment and I knew that if I hit that point it wasn’t going to be pretty. See, everyone thought that I was this happy girl. I was always smiling, always joking around. I mean, yes, I was sassy but that was just part of who I was. That was all part of me. It was normal. But what nobody saw was that, I was not okay.

I didn’t want to admit it. I still don’t want to admit it. But I have to admit it. And I can honestly say that even in the subtlest ways, you’ve helped me out so much already. I took your class out of the blue. I took your class because it looked interesting and I was just starting to get into the topic. I never really thought that I’d be where I am today because of one class, one professor.

See, when I say that I’m not okay I truly mean that. I truly mean that every “joke” I made about not being to handle something was just my way of trying to deal with everything that was piling on. I was losing faith in myself, something that I worked so hard to build up over the years, and starting to believe that nothing I was doing was good enough. But your optimistic view on things really turned things around for me.

Never once did you let me think that I truly couldn’t do something. You always had some kind of words of encouragement on why I should give it a shot. You always believed in me when I couldn’t believe in myself. You pushed me to step out of my comfort zone and try something new, and I’m having so much fun learning about that topic that I’m not sure why I haven’t thought about that earlier. You knew just how much praise to give and when to give it. And you always gave just the perfect amount. Simply hearing the words “I’m proud of you” whenever you said it, helped make that slight difference. It was always the little things that helped the most.

Sometimes, it’s crazy to think that one professor can turn around what seems like the darkest days. But I can honestly say that things were going down a bad path for the second time in my life. I wasn’t quite sure to what extent, but I could tell the signs were there. But because you cared and because you took the time to help when it was needed most, those things didn’t happen in the big way that they could.

So what professors don’t get to witness most of the time is the impact that they have on their students beyond the classroom. But, know that I am forever grateful that you came into my life when you did because you helped me without even realizing it. I can’t say that I’m okay. There’s still things that I’ll never be okay from, but now I’ve found new ways to cope. I’ve found a new sense of belief in myself, and I’ve learned how to push myself to try new things.

So thank-you for all you’ve done for me, whether you know it or not, you might have just saved me.