Procrastination Nation

1.) You ever check out the popular page on Instagram? Well, if u haven’t yet, the night before a huge midterm is the perfect time to try! Its full of makeup tutorials and instagram's of girls in Brazil with captions in Portugese. If ur lucky u might end up on one of their cousins boyfriends sisters profiles. You can also find lots of want to be famous meme accounts with really unfunny posts. It only counts if you stalk them all the way back to their first shitty pic and then you can say with confidence “ thatwas stupid.”

2.) Spotify. How many playlists do you have? Not enough! its midterm season! time to take all the same songs you listen to and create a new playlist with them in a different order! Do you have your xmas playlist ready for next year yet? better get on that now! also make sure you take extra time making a cool name for it or it won’t even matter and no one will want to listen to it.

3.) How many emails do you have unread ? In the hundreds? thousands? the more the merrier! this is the perfect time to delete all your spam emails and read then delete the important ones! added bonus if you have more than one email account- you can do this for all of them!

4.) How’s your camera roll looking? Pretty cluttered huh? well its spring cleaning! delete all the pictures of your homework and keep 1/80 selfies that look the exact same. make sure to take your time picking which blurry awful drunk pictures to keep because even if they look like they all suck, one has to be good! after you finish deleting everything, you can even just go through your camera roll and reminisce on some good times all the way back a couple years even!

5.) Snapchat: you know what snapchat discovery is? If you do have you ever read every option they have? so many articles so little time. make sure you hit them all as well as watch all your friends stories especially DJ khaled’s 9 hour long ones. those are really important. this can take a really impressive amount of time i highly recommend it.

6.) Buzzfeed quizzes? do you even know your favorite sex position based on your zodiac sign? what type of garlic bread even are you bitch?! get on this!! very important information! take as many quizzes as possible to ensure a worse grade on your real quiz the next day.

7.) how much laundry do you have? does it look like the size of a elementary school boy in a bag? don’t put it off any longer! time to do it now! make sure afterwards when you go to put your laundry away you realize you have no room for anything and you redo the organization of your entire closet and color coat it even if ur feeling a little crazy!

8.) haven’t called home in forever? well get your phone charger ready because this FaceTime can go on for about ever! make sure your mom goes into as much detail as possible about what she’s doing that day and exactly what she ate for lunch. catch them up on everything they have missed and try to get their entire life stories out of them. pro tip: while you are on the faceitme you can stalk the popular page of instagram and knock out 2 birds with one stone.

9.) netflix. this one is dangerous. start off by telling yourself you are going to watch JUST one episode but don’t stop until you watch at least 5. once you hit mid way into 6 realize what you have done and say “ fuck its 1 am, i better get some beauty rest for my 9 am midterm” and go to bed.

10.) have you taken a nap yet today? sleep is priority and so is your health! and your not going to get any studying done when your tired! take a nap and set your alarm for 30 minutes. when you wake up hit snooze for 15 more min and repeat 5 more times. finally when you wake up take a really long shower to wake your self up even more. shave EVERYTHING you can to take up as much time as possible.