It all starts out when you're just going about your merry way, eating to your heart's content, completely aware and proud of your food baby.
Family-sized pizza? I take that as a challenge.
You avoid vegetables, because ew.
WHY IS KALE SO POPULAR?!
You realize that walking up the stairs leaves you frighteningly close to passing out.
I'm just going to take a quick break halfway up the first flight of stairs.
You make a promise to yourself to start working out and get healthy ... tomorrow.
I shouldn't start my new diet on a Friday ... I'll start on Monday.
You go shopping for some new workout clothes, because how can your body look good if your outfit doesn't look good?
$50 for running shorts? That sounds reasonable.
You finally go to the gym for your first workout and have no idea what to do, but you're too proud to ask for help.
What's a Bowflex TreadClimber TC10, and why does it look like a torture device?
The ultra-fit and intimidating trainers can immediately tell that you're new, and they do their best to motivate you.
That male trainer looks like a muscular chicken nugget.
You appreciate their efforts, but while they're talking, all you can think is this:
I'm not in the Hunger Games, why do I need to be able to run 10 miles without stopping?
You wake up sore the first few days with your new workout regime, and you can't help but wonder how anyone does this every day.
Can someone hand me that pen on the desk in front of me? It hurts to move my arms.
But you stick with it, because you are determined to get that beach bod you've always wanted.
You're starting to feel healthier, so you feel like you know everything there is to know about being healthy.
Cookies might be bad for me, but they still become energy.
You start eating those foods you never thought you'd eat.
I can come around to lettuce, but I will never, ever, ever eat kale.
Then, when you're feeling so proud of yourself, your friends try to get you to have a cheat day.
"Just come out with us, you don't have to eat anything." LIES.
But it's okay, you've prepared for it. You won't give in.
They prepared too though..
So you give in, just this once.
I forgot how good food with fat tastes.
Before you know it, you're out and it's midnight and you're eating enough to feed a family of five.
If I eat past midnight, it doesn't count.
You wake up the next morning, full of regret, and you have lost all motivation.
I have made a huge mistake.
Aaaaaand before you know it, you're right back where you started.
It's cool. Mac and cheese pizza DEFINITELY tastes better than skinny feels.
