The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines the word "talking" as, "saying words in order to express thoughts, feelings, or opinions, etc., to someone."In today's millennial dating environment, however, this term has grown to encompass a much more complex connotation, responsible for mixed signals, blurred lines, and inevitable heartbreak. It is not uncommon for young Americans to admit to being in the "talking" stage of a relationship - a status somewhere between complete strangers and a monogamous unit. In my humble opinion, this new step in dating is both immature and dangerous for numerous reasons.
First and foremost, the premise for the entire thing is absolutely ridiculous grounded in fear. Two people care about each other, desire to be together, but are terrified of "labels," so they resort to branding themselves with a term far more telling than any other relationship definition. If outside and self-perceptions prevent a couple from publicly committing to one another than the relationship is too insecure to succeed from the start.
An additional issue with these types of arrangements are that they are usually "successful" for whichever party cares less. In such an undefined, ambiguous set-up, mind games and strategizing are critical to gaining the upper hand on your counterpart. While healthy relationships thrive on positive reinforcement, mutual encouragement, and unwavering support, the "talking" stage is all about pretending to need the other person less than they need you. The whole thought process seems to be something along the lines of, "maybe if I ignore him/her for long enough, he/she will get really into the chase and want to commit!" which is a really secure way of looking at things! Why seek a partner who is willing to be true to you immediately when you can psychologically maneuver your "talking" partner to be into you?
If that's not enough, the frequency of miscommunication in these types of relationships extends far beyond the comprehension of reasonable human beings. With no true "couple terms" or genuine honesty flowing between the two members, it's easy to grow uncertain with what types of behavior are deemed acceptable or unacceptable to each partner. Is he hooking up with other people? Would I look too clingy posting pictures with him? Is she texting other guys? Can I hold his hand in public? are all common worries for individuals with a "talking" relationship status, and this once again stems from the basis of insecurity that the relationship is grounded on.
To anyone out there who has found themselves in an extended period of "talking" with a boy or girl, know your worth. Of course, it's normal to get to know someone before jumping into a relationship, but just make sure your kind presence and open heart isn't being taken advantage of. Remember, if this person isn't willing to come clean to the public about his/her connection with you, than he/she is far from worth your time and effort!
