After the past few weeks I am pretty sure that everybody wants to press the restart button on the world. For me personally I have been biting my tongue and watching the disrespect be thrown from both sides. I have tried to respectfully listen to other people’s views and then try and formulate my own views on everything. And then when I finally feel as though I may be able to come up with a thought I can live with something else happens. So I have come up with my conclusion: THE WORLD IS LOST.
You know I have already put out my thoughts on the #BlackLivesMatter movement and how I agree with it, but they can be mad stupid at times (riots and blocking ambulances are never okay). However, these past few weeks I have listened to people put down black people in the most disrespectful ways. I mean because if you are Pro Black then you must be Anti Cop or Anti White, right?
See my issue is that people are trying to say there is not a problem. That there is no such thing as racial profiling and that we need to learn to listen to what we are told. Well, sure sometimes people are not doing what they are told. However, I refuse to believe that the unfairness is all in my head. I mean before Rodney King there was a lot of hush hush in the treatment in minorities in the hands of police. I don’t even have the time to get into all of the sneaky little tricks and lies that were told.
Now before everybody starts getting all feisty and thinking I am one sided. I do see the fact that Rodney King was an endangerment to others as he was driving drunk, but is it ever okay to repeatedly strike somebody once he is subdued. And I get it in high intensity situations you may panic because you want to get back to your family. However, these same people want to get home to their families so is there another way? I understand and know that not all officers are bad, but there is a problem. We shouldn’t be hung up on that. Instead we should be asking, how do we fix the problems that seem to be plaguing our nation?
Honestly I don’t have an answer. Instead all I want to say is that I am exhausted. I am tired of looking at the news wondering who else was killed, wondering what other attack has happened, and what other retaliation has happened. I am over cringing when I hear another black person has fulfilled the self-fulfilling prophecy placed on them since birth. I am done trying to make it okay in my head and keeping my mouth closed in fear of making others mad or uncomfortable.
So, for me to even process all of the shootings and attacks that have been happening as of late I have to look at it through my Christian faith. On my own I am just angry and frustrated because people do not seem to understand that it is a struggle being black. However, I cannot allow that anger turn me into the same thing that angers me. I just have to realize that the world is messed up and that every single one of us has our own prejudices and biases. However, only through God can we get a glimmer of what it means to love and see people in a way that is fair and anywhere near correct.
