In light of recent events, grief (among many emotions), comes to the top of my mind. I am grieving for our country. I am grieving for the lives lost and the lives that are now subsequently in danger. Grief does not show up without a friend. He is accompanied by guilt. I feel guilty. Through the newscasts and testimonies that I read, I’m faced with the emotion of guilt. I feel guilty that I am privileged.

Privileged is not a word that is used generously. People shudder at the sound of it. People will dance around the word and cower if they hear the term, “white privilege” or “male privilege.” We can’t keep avoiding it. Believe it or not, acknowledging your privilege is helping people more than you can imagine.

By stepping back and examining our privilege, we are symbolically giving the microphone to someone who deserves it. In the midst of the Black Lives Matter movement, maybe (this is a crazy thought... are you ready?) we should let black people do the talking. Crazy. I know.

This is not to say that other groups of people cannot speak up. Your support is very helpful in the wake of this movement. But, it’s time to let the people who are experiencing this first hand let their voices be heard without interruption or background noise.

So, how can we let the voices that need to be heard, be heard?

Let’s start by erasing the phrase, “All Lives Matter” from our vocabulary.

Yes, all lives matter. Obviously. But we’re focusing on the black ones now. There are so many examples of this floating around the Internet right now to help you understand. Here are some of my favorites:

Bob goes to the doctor with a broken arm. The doctor says, “All bones matter” as he begins to examine all of Bob’s bones. Bob says, “Of course all bones matter but it’s my arm that’s broken!”

Do you get it yet? No? Let’s see what our friend Jesus has to say.

When Jesus said, “Blessed are the poor” no one stood up and said “Blessed is everyone!”

All lives matter. But right now, we’re focusing on the black ones.

We can use our white privilege to help the Black Lives Matter movement. Just like you can stand up for someone if they’re being bullied, you can stand up to racism. Use your power and privilege to stand up for what’s right.

Finally, stop saying that “you don’t see color.” By saying this, you’re erasing someone’s race. Simply let them be black and respect that.

Everyone is grieving and it’s often difficult to transform the grief into something positive and progressive. We don’t have to feel guilty about our privilege if we’re using it to help the movement.