Ah, yes. Privilege. One of those terms that gets almost everyone all riled up in one way or another.

“Privilege doesn’t exist –– it’s not my fault that I was born this gender/race/etc., and I don’t get any advantages because of it!”

Ha. Ha ha ha ha ha.

Stop.

Admittedly, you’re partly right; you had nothing to do with the race, gender, sexuality, or family into which you were born. No one’s grabbing pregnant women’s bellies and yelling, “It’s your fault if you’re a straight, cisgendered, white male! Fix it, you stupid bundle of cells!!” You’re safe on that one.

Regardless, privilege does exist, whether you want to believe it or not. While you can’t control having or lacking certain privileges, there’s one crucial thing you can control: whether or not you acknowledge it. Being able to look at yourself and your environment and say, “These are the advantages I have and this is how I can use them to fight for the rights of those who don’t” is a crucial duty of those in positions of privilege.

I know where I am and am not privileged. Admittedly, I’m pretty lucky: I’m white; I’m straight; I’m cisgender; My family is financially well-off; I’m surrounded by loving, supportive friends. I’m not just bragging about how great my life is; I’m practicing what I’m preaching and acknowledging where I stand in my society.

On the other hand, I have experienced the other side of the spectrum.

First and foremost, I’m a woman. Those who claim that sexism isn’t still prevalent today are just plain wrong; there’s no other way to (politely) say it. I am often talked over, and when I speak up for myself, I get dirty looks. I’ve been called a bitch both behind my back and to my face for arguing with someone on something about which I feel strongly. I am told to “get back in the kitchen” (it doesn’t matter if you were “just joking around” –– it’s still not funny). Since the seventh grade, I’ve been told that boys only like me because of my physical appearance. That’s also when I began to be told that my physical appearance isn’t good enough. I still hear both often.

The other way in which I’ve noticed I fall short of being privileged is growing up Jewish in a largely Christian area. Even though I’m not religious and don’t get offended, it’s awkward to sit there silently when everyone bows their heads to pray before a meal at a secular event. It’s weird when teachers bring up religion in class or keep posters, etc. in their rooms because both are almost always pertaining solely to Christianity (I went to a public high school –– no religious affiliation). Fifth grade was the first time someone told me I didn’t believe in God because I was Jewish; eighth grade was the first time someone told me a Holocaust joke. They haven’t slowed down.

This article is not meant to be a pity party for me. Like I said, I am incredibly lucky and hold many positions of privilege. Since I do have a small taste of what it’s like not to, I feel very strongly about using that privilege to fight for the rights and general equality of those without it. Instead of moping about the sexism I face, I need to realize that I’m a white woman; women of color face even more obstacles than I do and I must fight alongside them to end that. Instead of complaining about Jew jokes, I need to realize that no one is trying to ban followers of my religion from entering this country or treating me as a second-class citizen and I must do my part to end the prejudices against the Muslim community.

If you’re still skeptical, look at your daily life: “Friends,” “How I Met Your Mother” and other popular TV shows feature all-white main characters. There’s a reason there’s never been a class called “The History of the Straight White Christian Man.” We don’t celebrate Caucasian History Month or Men’s History Month because we don’t need a reminder to force us to acknowledge those groups’ accomplishments and study the intricacies of their cultures. You can say, “I don’t believe that racism is still alive in America today” because you personally don’t experience it; out of sight, out of mind doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.

So it’s true, you can’t help if you are or are not born into a position of privilege. If you are, however, it’s crucial that you use it to fight for real and total equality so that, eventually, there is no such thing as privilege at all.