To Whom Decides to Read This Besides Maureen:
Welcome to my private eulogy for one of the most special ladies in my life. Maureen recently, and currently, is processing the death of her grandfather, Papa Bill. Although I did get to meet Papa Bill once, I never got the opportunity, like Maureen had, to get to experience life with the quiet man in his chair. From the stories I've heard, he was a very funny man, sarcastic even, when he was trying to be serious.
At the age of 91, Papa Bill decided to take his last breath on Earth while his granddaughter and I sat in our living room with the group of boys we like to call "The Sausage Party." We won't know what the last thought was that entered and exited his mind, but I like to believe that it had to be about the family who loved him very much. Death is extremely terrible in that it likes to take away the things from our mind that we cherish, but family is one that seems to prevail, and although Maureen did not get the chance to say goodbye one more time, I hope she knows that she was on his mind. I feel it in my bones while writing this that she was on his mind at the time of passing into the next world. I know she's on my mind everyday leading up to his funeral.
When somebody close to us passes, we tend to focus on the person who seems to be the "primal" member who is feeling the damage, but there is so many more pieces to that. When my father passed, everyone asked how my mom was doing, but all I wanted was for one person to ask about me, the child who lost her father. When my Papa passed when I was a very young girl, I remember being sheltered from the hospice truck coming to take his body. I just hope that Maureen knows that we all are listening here, even when it feels like we aren't, or nobody else is.
A eulogy is supposed to be short, so I will make it so.
Maureen - I have had my fair share around death and every time it seems to get harder. Unfortunately, that is the way I've been conditioned over time, but you cannot allow this death to overshadow the direction of your life because Papa Bill would not want that, even if I didn't get the opportunity to know him better. You are surrounded by love that will be here when you just need a moment to cry and sit on the floor, a moment to laugh, and a moment to nap. We are here when you need to talk or yell at the top of your lungs. You will never be alone in this situation, even when it feels like you are, and I hope this eulogy sparks a glimmer of hope in the darkest clouds that are currently overhanging.
I love you from the bottom of my heart and I am so very sorry that this death has shaken the foundations of your life, but you always have to be that "Good Girl" for Papa Bill. I know he's still so proud, wherever his soul may be today.
Stay beautiful, and as always, "black kid peacin' out."
