As I've gotten older I have realized that I've been lied to for so long. I remember sitting down as a child watching movies such as Cinderella, Shrek, and Snow White, where the women constantly had to be "saved" or " given life" after the man reached her. I began to romanticize a love that required fulfillment from the presence of a man. It was a love that appeared to be so strong it transformed some of the worse situations into a beautiful happily ever after. The Happily ever after that only appeared when I decided to allow one person to enter my life and have total control over my happiness. Why was it that the woman required saving in order to reach her full potential? As a Woman, I found it so easy to negotiate my happiness over the sake of someone else's happiness. It's society that installs in our mind that in order to be at our absolute best we have to have someone to share that appreciation with.

So what happens next? We jump at the first opportunity of being exposed to something that may be "different" or something that seems better than what we're used to. Setting our all into this idea of love and not seeing that the greater love is loving you first. Understanding that you can't seek something from someone when you have not given it to yourself. I was lied to when they stereotyped gender roles for the sake of keeping the tradition. Like there aren't women out there working overnights so that their children can have a nice place to stay as if some of the greatest inventions weren't constructed by the hands of a strong woman, and as if a woman couldn't have been 'found" before finding her lover. It's amazing that as you get older, you start viewing things holistically and understanding how much power a woman actually has.

It's okay to be selective over who you give yourself to, and it's okay to be a princess without a prince. We're so accustomed to waiting around for love or waiting to be loved that in the process we forget what it is to love the person we are. It's a process to embrace those insecurities, those doubts, and those dreams. While love is something that most people want, it is essential that we familiarize ourselves with the same love that we want to receive. What better way to receive what you want by projecting what you deserve. The hardest part about growth is fighting the temptation to go back to who you were, but once you master fighting the temptation things will fall in line. Becoming comfortable with your own solitude only makes you selective of who your energy goes into. Trust that time will make you a better woman for yourself and for someone else to value.