President Simmons Approved Pick-Up Lines*
*probably
Simpson College is near and dear to all of our hearts, so why not use it to your advantage!? With these lines in your back pocket, you're sure to snag the attention of your campus crush! Use them in line for coffee at Holy Grounds, or while waiting for food at Tyler's (you've definitely got the time to use one there!).
1. Dang girl, were you raised in a forest? Because your butt is as nice as the butt tree’s!
That’s something only nature can provide!
2. Are you related to Millie? Because you’ve got me trippin’.
Make sure you avoid the stairs!
3. Hey girl, I’d totally call security for you.
A pretty little thing like yourself doesn't need to be walking across campus at this time of night.
4. Are you the space around the seal? Because you’re saving me from failure.
I really need an A on that O-Chem test!!
5. Wow, are you the sidewalks around campus? Because you seem really unnecessarily confusing.
And also, if we all just trample somewhere new, there will be a new addition, which seems convenient and also strange.
6. Hey, pet my squirrel. You know what it’s made of? Boyfriend’s pet squirrel material.
Don't let him get away, though, he was really hard to catch.
7. Are you Simpson’s wifi? Because you seem really hard to get, but since I don’t really have any other options, I guess I will keep trying.
Please stop rejecting me. I just want to turn in my assignment.
8. Wow, you must’ve lived in Barker, because you’re a total babe.
Barker Babes are where it's at! 138 represent!!
9. Hey is your name Russ? Because I’d love to share our life stories at 3 am while you drive me home.
I'll deny anything you say the next day, and I promise to forget your name.
10. Are you Outside Scoop? Because you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to this town.
It'd also be a great place for a first date. *wink wink*
11. I’d definitely save you a chair at BINGO.
Chivalry's NOT dead!! Don't worry, I won't think any less of you if you are eligible for loser's round.
12. Are you the basement of Carver? Because you’re drop dead gorgeous.
Let's leave the lights on.
13. Do you work in admissions? Because you look like you could show me a good time.
Ya know, like College Hall and Blank Performing Arts Center.
14. Are you the Steven Johnson Fitness Center? Because you seem really nice, and I will never use you.
We could work on our cardio... by running of course.
15. Are you fourth floor Wallace because you look like quite the workout.
I prefer to take the elevator, though, especially at 8 am.
16. Are you Pfeifer because you've got my stomach doing flips.But that could also just be the burger I had earlier. Or both. Both is good.
