The finals that are on the hunt for young college kids can smell our fear. They all know that we are waiting for them to attack, trembling in the shadows. Finals week is coming, folks; there is no denying it. However, finals week isn't what I'm dreading. I've been preparing all semester to take these tests. I can do that, no problem. The thing I haven't been preparing myself for is the giant good-bye that I have to say to everything I've built this past year in college.
There are many parts to this goodbye that I can't imagine actually getting through without tearing up a little bit. This past year has given me so many friendships, memories, and a place that has become my home away from home. No one ever thinks about everything we are going to miss when we travel home. We only focus on getting out, and that is no way to give your respects to everything that your college experience has given you, thus far.
This all hit me when I began taking down the plethora of decorations I have hanging in my room. Like any other over-prepared student who has a love affair for their planner, I have set specific days to pack certain places of my room up. That way I won't stress myself over packing when finals week finally arrives. There is already so much on my plate, and I knew this was the best way to take care of this single aspect.
Stripping my dorm room down meant taking down the pictures of my friends, the sorority canvases I was given that signified a family I gained, and most importantly, taking apart what became my home. My dorm has always been one of my favorite places on campus. It was my safe haven from the tornado warnings, thunderstorms, and the craziness of Humans Versus Zombies, among other things. When I had an awful day, I knew I had an amazing roommate that would listen to me cry and hug me. Through the many furniture rearrangements, my dorm room has been that constant factor in my life here at school. It is so strange that I will leave, and another girl will come in my place and find the same home. I can say for a fact that good ole Cowart Dormitory is one of the many things I am not ready to say good-bye to yet.
I call my family a few times a week (if I'm lucky), and when I talked to my parents last Wednesday, we counted the days until I would be able to see their sweet faces, and snuggle my precious furry friend,s too. Talking to a friend from home a few days later, I realized that while I am going home to a few of my favorite people in the world, I was leaving behind my favorite people here at school. I have to say goodbye to the people who held my hand, who played with my hair when I felt bad, who listened to me laugh, rant, and cry. I have a family at home, but I surely have a nice hand-picked family here. I said good-bye for Winter Break, but what is a month compared to three? Letting myself trust in other people here in Troy after a rough end to high school was a big step -- one of the biggest, boldest, and best things I have done for myself in a long time. At the same time, I am closing a book on those people here who taught me a lesson and left. There is always a bright side to good-byes, I suppose.
They say for every door that closes, one more opens. As this year closes, as I say my goodbyes, I know that there are better things ahead of me. I know that there is another semester waiting for me at the end of the summer break. Remembering that as I pack my jeep up and head out on North 231 and beyond will keep me smiling. I'm beyond thankful for everything Troy has to offer, and what it has already offered. Preparing for my good-bye is bittersweet because it's not a simple goodbye, end of story. It's a good-bye for now, which is the best kind of departure. The blue skies, green grass, and famous Trojan fountain will see me again.
