As we all know, and are perhaps trying to forget, the future of our country will be decided on November 8, 2016. I don't know about you, but I want to delay and get it over with at the same time. Here are a few ways to prepare for Tuesday night, if you're brave enough to watch that map slowly filled in with colors.
1. Stock up on comfort food.
If there's one thing we'll all need on Tuesday, it's some comfort. Whatever your comfort food is, get enough for at least two meals. I'd suggest macaroni and cheese, warm cookies, and bread... because, who doesn't love those things? Also, be sure to get some popcorn to enjoy while the political analysts are arguing for hours over an election that's in progress.
2. Plan your escape route.
Let's be honest: no matter who wins on Tuesday, nobody would be surprised if a civil war broke out over it. And we all know how it would start, because enthusiastic Trump supporters are a little too trigger-happy whether they're angry or celebratory. So if you're fleeing the city, the state, or even the country, make sure you have enough gas and a paper map just in case technology breaks down because that would be just our luck, wouldn't it?
3. Find a recording device.
Whether it's a phone, a tape recorder, or a phonograph, make sure you'll be able to document your experience so future generations will know exactly where you were and what you were thinking when the end of the world began. Another option would be abstract art or journaling to express your feelings. Or you could just cry in a corner the old fashioned way.
4. Design a flag for your new independent state.
Once our old government has fallen down, wouldn't you like to establish your own place? You could found a nudist colony, or set up an experiment of a small village with communism! Obviously, the best option here is to set up small towns based on Hogwarts Houses, so if you're going to do that you can call me please work on sewing the robes after you vote.
5. Practice interpretive dance.
Don't want your kids to hear you cussing at the television? Say it with interpretive dance instead! This is such a great alternative to talking, although there's a chance you may destroy your living room while you're flailing your arms around for hours on end.
Wow, look at that! Five actions you can take instead of biting your fingernails off in front of the television while the anchors struggle to talk about something before they have the information about it! Good luck during the 2016 American Presidential Election!
