Every day people joke about pregnancy. They may joke that they are pregnant, or perhaps make a joke about you or someone else being pregnant. They mean no harm in most cases. They are comments said in good fun.

Not everyone sees it that way, however. One in four women will lose a child in their lifetime. Some go on to have other children, often called rainbow babies. Some will fight infertility and their only child is their angel baby. Some may have had children prior to their loss, or sunshine babies. Still, others will not be so lucky. Some will suffer just the one loss. Others go on to have multiple losses.

The children will be lost to SIDS, to stillborn, to miscarriage, or to a number of other reasons and causes. The statistics for each are different. The grieving may look different, but the heartbreak is the same.

For these women and their families, these jokes about pregnancy, while they may be in good fun, can be painful. It is a constant reminder of what they've lost. It is feeling the heartbreak all over. It's knowing all too well that the reality is not every pregnancy comes with a happy ending. Some end in heartbreaks and grief. They end with funerals and memorials for the child they had to say goodbye to much too soon. To them, it's not funny to joke about being pregnant. To them, it's heartbreak all over.

This subject hits close to home for me. I am one in four. I had to say goodbye before I ever had the chance to say hello to my sweet little one.

At 24 I found out that I was pregnant. I immediately fell in love with this child I hadn't yet met. This little being growing inside me. I started planning and making lists. I wanted my kid to have the best life possible, just like any good parent would. I knew I was going to have to make a lot of sacrifices and there would be a lot more changes, but I knew that this child would be worth it. A few short weeks later I discovered that my body was going to be forced to miscarry. My pregnancy was ectopic and I was lucky to have caught it when I did, so I wouldn't need surgery. I didn't feel lucky that day. Nearly four years later and I still don't feel lucky. Although I no longer hurt the way I used to, the loss is still painful in its own ways. I am nearly certain it always will.

So, like many other women, pregnancy jokes come across as insensitive and hurtful to me. I will not lecture you on it if you make a joke. I won't get rude. I will simply ignore the remark, and often times you. I won't laugh just so you feel comfortable. I won't tell you about my loss in order to make you feel awkward. I simply won't respond.

Please, before you make a joke about pregnancy, or really any situation, think about how it could be hurtful. Not everyone speaks of their losses or infertility, so you may not know you're hurting someone you care about. Always be aware that everyone is fighting a battle, whether or not they let you see that. Always be kind and courteous to others, because when you are dealing with your own battles you want others to treat you in the same respectful manner.