While on a drive late last night, I reflected on the impact I’ve allowed my environment to have on my character. I realized that lately I’ve chosen to react to problems by making others feel the way they have made me felt. This phenomenon - an “eye for an eye” approach - seems to be the standard for handling conflict. This approach lacks empathy for the other party, or basic consideration for unknown circumstances. The perceived gain from this approach is some heightened sense of self empowerment and superiority. As I drove through the dark streets thinking about whether this type of response is effective or not, I passed a church sign with two simple sentences. I don’t 100% recall the first, though I believe it said something like “love those who hurt you,” while the second read “pray for those who persecute you.”

It was as if the second sentence was there just for me, in that moment, as a personal message. I was taken aback by the power behind its meaning as I repeated it to myself as I drove along. If someone has the intent to do harm to us, they probably need guidance more than we do. I came to the realization that those who persecute us may have issues in their own life that causes them to feel powerless, and their response may be an attempt to regain some sense of control. They may have different backgrounds or beliefs that may evoke a reaction unfamiliar to us in a given situation. While this should not always reflect ill-will on their part, letting their actions dictate our reaction does take us away from our own value system and eventually, we may lose our way.

It takes an incredible amount of grace to willingly set aside our own judgments and hasty desires to pray for the well-being of another (especially for those we do not want to see thrive); a task often only successfully completed by Christ. How do we seek His level of compassion? To first pardon others for their transgressions against us will give us more satisfaction in the long run, and to then wish for other's success gives us the advantage in becoming more compassionate and graceful. Martin Luther King Jr. once famously stated “Hate cannot drive out hate. Only love can do that.” Conflict will often not be resolved by causing the same amount of damage to others as they have us; it is likely they will not understand your purpose, and will only lead to more contention.