It is extremely hard to have a deep passion for something one minute and then have it taken away the next. In my world, it’s my love for dance and a rotated pelvis.
Let’s go back a few years. Junior High was a time of new beginnings: a new year, new school and also new P.E. credits. I was not super athletic. Was I strong? Yes. Would it have been fun? Possibly, but I figured I would try something else besides just P.E. or athletics. This is how dance came into my life. Before my seventh grade year, I had never danced. I had never been involved in a studio or been trained to be flexible. Honestly, when it came to dancing, you could say I was pretty awkward. However, halfway into my 7th grade year, I began loving the sport that I never thought I would even enjoy.
Eight grade came around, and all of a sudden, it was time for Drill Team auditions for the new high school. As I considered my odds, I was pretty confident. I figured I would make the team, due to my determination. As well, we would be the first students in a brand new high school, so I would not have to compete against girls who had previously been a part of the team. I was so excited! My friend and I went to every rehearsal that week, and we worked hard to learn the routine for the song “Footloose.” The final day came, and that meant it was time for the auditions. When I finished my tryout, I thought I did really well. I was so sure that I had made it onto the team that when the results came back negative, it took a bit of a toll on me. I wasn’t sure what had happened, but I was determined not to give up on my dream.
When audition time came around the next year before my sophomore year, I tried out again. The new routine was a dance to Jessie J’s “Domino” and once again, I thought I nailed it. But, just as before, I was proven wrong. This outcome pretty much rocked my world. Was there something wrong with me? Was it the way I danced? Was I not good enough? I had so many questions racing through my mind that I wanted answered. I just could not understand why this dream wasn’t becoming a reality. So, instead of giving up, I decided I would try achieving it in a different direction. After many conversations, I was able to convince my parents that I needed to join a dance studio. That had to be the answer: dancing outside of school.
Several months passed. Sometime around Christmas of my sophomore year, I began to notice that when I walked, sat, stood, slept - when I did anything, really - I would be in a lot of pain. I didn’t know what was causing it, but I also didn’t want to give up dancing, even though it hurt. I just pushed myself through the pain, because passion for dance was greater than the misery my body felt. Eventually, however, the pain took its toll and in December 2012, I had to stop dance and give up a big part of myself. We did x-rays and an MRI, neither of which showed anything wrong with me, so I couldn’t understand why I was in so much pain. Four years and three chiropractors later, the only revelation was a possible rotated pelvis. To this day, I still have many unanswered questions as to what happened, but I’ve been learning that perhaps God wants me to see things from a different perspective – one that involves not dwelling on my problem.
Needless to say, I had no idea when I started dance in 7th grade that I would be in the situation I am in now. Dance is still a huge passion of mine, even though it is tucked away in my heart. I still have a hard time watching my school’s dance team perform, and I wonder what it would’ve been like to be one of them. But I also know that God is good and has a very special purpose for my life, and I want to live that out to the fullest, even if it doesn’t involve me dancing.
The Bible has a passage in Mark 5 about a woman who bled for twelve years. She had seen many doctors and no one could help her. When she heard about Jesus, she said to herself, “If I can just touch His robes, I’ll be made well!” and that’s exactly what happened. She touched Jesus’ robe and was instantly healed! Above that passage, I have a note in my Bible that I wrote several months ago that says, “Jesus delays our healings so that our Faith can grow stronger.”
Fast-forward with me to present-day, the first semester of my sophomore year in college. My College Algebra class does a devotion every week. Yes, I said Algebra, as in Math, and yes, we have a weekly Bible assignment (isn’t that so amazingly awesome?!). This week’s devotion was about relying on Christ and how His way is the best fit for our lives. If I am going to be honest, I relied heavily on what my chiropractors would say about the reasons for my physical pain, but I wouldn’t ask God for anything. Sure, I have prayed and prayed throughout these last four years for Him to heal me, but I know that they didn’t have the sincerity that they should have.
This past week was a struggle for me. There were several days when I was in so much pain, I had no idea what to do to make it stop. Then, when I was at church on Sunday and passed over that one sentence of Jesus delaying our healing for our Faith, I was in shock! And to top it off, when Monday rolled around and I was doing my devotion for my class, I was reading the assignment about relying on Christ, and I knew in my heart that this devotion was meant just for me!
This week, God used Algebra to remind me to rely on Him, through Faith. He is the only One that knows what is best for our lives. Yes, we are human so we will make mistakes, but we have to know and believe that the only way to live the best life that we can live, is by walking closely with Jesus Christ! When the quote I wrote in my Bible says “healings,” it isn’t just talking about physical healing. Whatever you are going through, let your Faith grow stronger than your fears and worries. Let the One who created you and knows you better than anyone else take control of your life! It may end up being very different than you had hoped, but it will be better than you could ever dream! All you have to do is reach out to Jesus!
