If you suffer from anxiety, you know that it can oftentimes feel like there is a battle in your head. Whether it’s obsessing about things that don’t matter, worrying about the past and the future, an overall feeling that something is wrong, or feeling out of control when “fight or flight” mode suddenly arises, you know that anxiety can take a huge toll on your well-being and even cause taking on everyday tasks to be difficult. It can cause people to ask you why you worry so much, why you just can’t let things go, or why you just can’t get out of your head.

Those of us who have suffered from anxiety have heard it all. But, if you have anxiety, you know that overcoming it is easier said than done. It has taken me awhile to understand and accept my anxiety as a part of who I am. When I was a child, I wondered why I would always worry so much. I wondered why I would panic suddenly in situations where others seemed calm. Oftentimes, I felt alone because I didn’t think that others could relate to my anxiousness.

With help from my family, I began to understand that I truly was not and am not alone. And, you aren’t either. Here are a few practices that could help you deal with and overcome your anxiety that have helped me tremendously throughout my life:

1. Understanding that anxiety does not define you.

It can be easy to fully identify yourself with your anxiety if it begins to take a huge toll on your life and overall well-being. But, what I’ve learned is that anxiety becomes all the more real when we identify with it. It all starts with understanding that at the core, anxiety is not who we are. When we find what gives us the most happiness, and what makes us truly content—we discover who we truly are at the core. When anxiety begins to take center stage, our ego takes over. When we understand that this ego is not what makes us who we are, anxiety can oftentimes seem a lot less overwhelming.

2. Refusing to allow anxiety to take over.

Anxiety is like a fire. When you throw fuel at the fire, it will continue to grow. This took me almost my entire life thus far to fully comprehend. What I mean by this is that when worry begins to consume our minds, it can be easy to fall into an anxiety trap and begin the cycle of obsessing about things that don’t truly matter. I’ve learned that by allowing ourselves to continue perpetuating this cycle of worrying, our brains begin to become accustomed to falling back into worrying whenever anything seems slightly wrong.

When we choose to train our minds to not fall into this trap by simply choosing to focus on things that truly matter, it becomes easier to do so in the future and it can even become automatic. It’s easier said than done, and I still struggle with this often, but it’s all about practice and perseverance.

3. Surrounding yourself with positive people who care for you.

When you focus your energy on those who support you and truly care for you, it becomes much less difficult to deal with and overcome anxiety. I find that I am the least anxious when I surround myself with people who I feel that I can truly be myself around. When we surround ourselves with those that exude constant judgment and negativity, it can make it difficult to avoid anxiety and maintain a positive mind. What I’ve learned is that our gut instinct about people is usually right. Go with that instinct and surround yourself with people who support your authentic self and watch how anxiety can begin to diminish.

I know that mental health, and anxiety in particular, is extremely complex and different for each person. I still struggle with anxiety today, but I’ve found that these three practices have given me strength throughout my life and I hope that they will do the same for you. Just know that if you try and you’re still struggling, you are never, ever alone.