Hey there, you. Look, I know this is a little awkward. But please, hear me out. I just wanted to say that I’m sorry, really sorry, for how I’ve been behaving lately. I’ve been a colossal jerk, and it’s not you at all, it’s me. I’ve completely dropped the ball in our relationship, and I just want to explain myself.
I know I’ve been neglecting you this past week, spending only a couple hours with you instead of the whole night. But just know that I wouldn’t have done that without good reason. Do you think I like going to sleep at 6 a.m. and waking up at 9 a.m.? I know there have been times I’ve woken up late and left you much too abruptly, trying to make it to my exam that started in ten minutes. Or that sometimes I’ll lay down for a few minutes only to rush off somewhere without a word, like “wham bam thank you ma’am.” But you know I respect you so much more than that. It’s not the sort of relationship I want. It’s no relationship at all, really. The one I want is one of commitment, of constant love and affection. I want to spend the whole day with you instead of just a fleeting moment. I want to feel you embrace me each night and know that I’m the only one for you, and you’re the only one for me. Except when I fall asleep on the couch. But don’t worry, that’s not serious.
You understand me in a way that nobody else does, and no one else can give me what you can. Do you think the library is as attentive to my needs? I’m lucky if I don’t leave crying each time we have an encounter. The only times I’ve ever cried with you were when I’ve turned to you for comfort, and you were always there willing to give it and to soak up my tears.
I just think that we have something really great here. You’re one of the longest relationships I’ve ever had, and I wouldn’t want to throw that away for something as trivial as this. At this point, I wouldn’t care if I failed all my finals, as long as it meant I got to make up for lost time with you. So please, just give me another chance. We could hang out, just the two of us. Or maybe with a pizza and some Ben and Jerry’s. We could watch a whole season of Grey’s Anatomy in a day; I know how you love that show. It’d be just like old times, before life interfered and drove us apart.
Even if you don’t want to give it another go, just know that you are one of—if not the—most important things in my life. Am I a little too dependent on you? Maybe. Would I die without you in my life? Perhaps not, but I’d probably have a lot more back problems sleeping on the floor. So please. Just think about it. For you. For me. For us.
