Living With Post-Concussive Syndrome
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

6 Years Later And I'm Still Learning How To Deal With Post-Concussive Syndrome

It's not an easy road, but I'm learning to make it my own.

6 Years Later And I'm Still Learning How To Deal With Post-Concussive Syndrome
Meghan Craig

Six years later and what do I want? I want to be able to wake up and see. I want to be able to read the numbers on the clock far away from me and the messages on my phone close up. I want to not bump into walls when I walk down a hallway. I want to look left, right, left, right and not get dizzy. I want to make it through a school day without reading the same words four times over, just so that I can understand them. I want to make it through a day without taking extra medication. I want to not feel like I`m going to fall over and faint. I want the tingling in my hands and feet to stop, the black spots in my vision to go away. I want to listen to the rain and not think of gunshots piercing through my ears. I want to do all of the things I used to do, like dance and basketball, and do them exactly how I used to. But the truth is I can`t and I never will be able to, and that`s the truth of my post-concussion syndrome.

Six years later, and I do not know if the pain has gotten any better.

Living with a concussion is exhausting mentally, physically, and emotionally.

In the beginning, I had all of the normal symptoms but was in such a daze that sometimes I barely noticed them. I felt the headache and the dizziness, along with the sensitivity to noise, but I did not notice some of the cognitive effects that I still deal with every day. I did not notice my balance was off. I couldn't tell I was swaying back and forth all the time like a drunk person. I wasn't aware my vision was so blurry or that my response times were so slow. I often could not feel my disconnection with the world, but I could definitely feel it within myself.

As time went on many people told me that I should be feeling better, but truthfully, I was not. I lied to myself and tried to do everything that I used to do — dance, basketball, rollercoasters. I tried concerts and parties, but after every one of these, the pain was worse. I thought maybe I became accustomed to not doing these things, and maybe I was just in a funk, so I pushed myself harder until my body could not take it.

Boom! My whole body turned off, it had had enough. I was fainting all of the time, just passing out and shutting down whenever my brain had had enough. I`d wake up on the floor in total disarray, unaware of what had actually just happened. I tried to fix this. I got nerve blocker shots in my head in an attempt to prevent my headaches and the residual effects from them. I tried pill after pill after pill, but they began taking away the small amount of my old life that I still had. I stopped fainting as often, but then I started throwing up, getting nauseous all of the time. It seemed with every step forward I was taking two steps back.

Lackluster days were how I envisioned and thought I had to envision the rest of my life. I thought that I was going to have to settle and learn to love a lesser life then I had lived in order to be happy. I thought maybe mediocre was best for me, but it was not what I wanted.

So, six years later what have I decided? I've decided I'm not going to live normally and I'm not going to live easily. And even though these things will be true, I still will live happily. I am not going to stop doing the things that make me happy because of this. I will not stop going to concerts or college parties because the noise is too loud, I'll wear earplugs. I'm not going to live my life in fear of TCE, I am just going to live and monitor. I'm not going to stay at home in fear of throwing up in public because I am too dizzy, I will just pack a toothbrush and toothpaste. I won't stop doing things because of my concussion, I will live my dreams.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Robert Bye on Unsplash

I live by New York City and I am so excited for all of the summer adventures.

Keep Reading... Show less

The invention of photography

The history of photography is the recount of inventions, scientific discoveries and technical improvements that allowed human beings to capture an image on a photosensitive surface for the first time, using light and certain chemical elements that react with it.


The history of photography is the recount of inventions, scientific discoveries and technical improvements that allowed human beings to capture an image on a photosensitive surface for the first time, using light and certain chemical elements that react with it.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

Exposing Kids To Nature Is The Best Way To Get Their Creative Juices Flowing

Constantly introducing young children to the magical works of nature will further increase the willingness to engage in playful activities as well as broaden their interactions with their peers


Whenever you are feeling low and anxious, just simply GO OUTSIDE and embrace nature! According to a new research study published in Frontiers in Psychology, being connected to nature and physically touching animals and flowers enable children to be happier and altruistic in nature. Not only does nature exert a bountiful force on adults, but it also serves as a therapeutic antidote to children, especially during their developmental years.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

5 Simple Ways To Give Yourself Grace, Especially When Life Gets Hard

Grace begins with a simple awareness of who we are and who we are becoming.

Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

If there's one thing I'm absolutely terrible at, it's giving myself grace. I'm easily my own worst critic in almost everything that I do. I'm a raging perfectionist, and I have unrealistic expectations for myself at times. I can remember simple errors I made years ago, and I still hold on to them. The biggest thing I'm trying to work on is giving myself grace. I've realized that when I don't give myself grace, I miss out on being human. Even more so, I've realized that in order to give grace to others, I need to learn how to give grace to myself, too. So often, we let perfection dominate our lives without even realizing it. I've decided to change that in my own life, and I hope you'll consider doing that, too. Grace begins with a simple awareness of who we are and who we're becoming. As you read through these five affirmations and ways to give yourself grace, I hope you'll take them in. Read them. Write them down. Think about them. Most of all, I hope you'll use them to encourage yourself and realize that you are never alone and you always have the power to change your story.

Keep Reading... Show less

Breaking Down The Beginning, Middle, And End of Netflix's Newest 'To All The Boys' Movie

Noah Centineo and Lana Condor are back with the third and final installment of the "To All The Boys I've Loved Before" series


Were all teenagers and twenty-somethings bingeing the latest "To All The Boys: Always and Forever" last night with all of their friends on their basement TV? Nope? Just me? Oh, how I doubt that.

I have been excited for this movie ever since I saw the NYC skyline in the trailer that was released earlier this year. I'm a sucker for any movie or TV show that takes place in the Big Apple.

Keep Reading... Show less

4 Ways To Own Your Story, Because Every Bit Of It Is Worth Celebrating

I hope that you don't let your current chapter stop you from pursuing the rest of your story.

Photo by Manny Moreno on Unsplash

Every single one of us has a story.

I don't say that to be cliché. I don't say that to give you a false sense of encouragement. I say that to be honest. I say that to be real.

Keep Reading... Show less
Politics and Activism

How Young Feminists Can Understand And Subvert The Internalized Male Gaze

Women's self-commodification, applied through oppression and permission, is an elusive yet sexist characteristic of a laissez-faire society, where women solely exist to be consumed. (P.S. justice for Megan Fox)

Paramount Pictures

Within various theories of social science and visual media, academics present the male gaze as a nebulous idea during their headache-inducing meta-discussions. However, the internalized male gaze is a reality, which is present to most people who identify as women. As we mature, we experience realizations of the perpetual male gaze.

Keep Reading... Show less

It's Important To Remind Yourself To Be Open-Minded And Embrace All Life Has To Offer

Why should you be open-minded when it is so easy to be close-minded?


Open-mindedness. It is something we all need a reminder of some days. Whether it's in regards to politics, religion, everyday life, or rarities in life, it is crucial to be open-minded. I want to encourage everyone to look at something with an unbiased and unfazed point of view. I oftentimes struggle with this myself.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments