Why Your Positivity Fails
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

Being Positive Never Works For You

It's not that being positive doesn't work, you just aren't being positive in a proactive way.

241
Being Positive Never Works For You

Often times, I have heard complaints from those who try to be positive, but end up feeling hopeless when it never works out. I have been guilty of doing this in the past, but I looked deeper into how I was presenting being positive. I have also talked to my therapist about why I feel like being positive hasn't been effective for me. Here are the top three lessons and tools that I have learned and utilized.

1. Being positive doesn't mean ridding of all negative emotion.

This was something I struggled the most with. I thought being positive meant that I wouldn't feel sadness, jealousy, anger, emotional tiredness, frustration, or any other negative emotion. It is actually quite the opposite. Positivity means letting yourself feel these negative emotions, but instead of letting them debilitate you, you understand that they are a cathartic release in order for you to reach the positive emotions that you seek. It's not about what you're feeling, it's about how you deal with what you are feeling. If you don't allow yourself to feel negative emotions when they arise, then you will bottle them up over time and eventually erupt into an emotional breakdown.

2. Practicing what you preach is essential.

If you are giving others advice on how to stay positive, but you aren't following the same rules that you are preaching then you are being inauthentic. This means that your positivity is fraudulent and transparent. People will see right through your "words of wisdom" and will not take you seriously if you are not taking yourself seriously. There have been times where I wanted everyone else around me to be happy even when I wasn't, so I put up a positive facade. At first, my friends valued my advice, but over time they did not believe I was credible because they saw, firsthand, that I was not practicing what I was preaching to them.

3. You can post on social media all you want, but you must also be positive in real life.

I am constantly posting positive tweets, quotes, and poems on my Instagram stories in hopes that they will resonate with my followers. Before I add them to my story, though, I ask myself, "Is this something that I follow?" or "Do I relate to this?" If the answer to either of these questions were to be no, I would refrain from posting them.

Far too many times, I have seen a close friend of mine post a quote that she does not live by. It is hypocritical and adds to the inauthentic nature of social media. When you spread positivity through Instagram, make sure that you are promoting messages that you actually believe in, not just messages that you think people want to hear.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

53323
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

34273
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

956842
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

181595
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments