It is so easy to believe lies. We live in a society that glorifies unhealthy habits, relationships, and lifestyles. From social media to current events, there are negative messages that are being portrayed all the time. Everyone is subject to negative feelings and beliefs about themselves and their lives because of what the world around them tells them to believe.

I saw a post on instagram with a mirror picture, and the phone that took the picture had a case that said, "Social media seriously harms your mental health". It astounds me that someone out there is making money off of the negative perpetuation of mental health. Mental health is not trendy.

However, there is truth behind the phone case. Social media is negative for our mental health. I have found myself so caught up in feeling awful about myself because of the way other people post on social media (I know their posts have no intention of making others feel bad about themselves, and people SHOULD post their happy memories on social media. We should be sharing the brightness in our lives). But whether I've looked at people's pages and posts and thought "Wow why can't I be like that?" or "They look really happy without me" or "I wonder what it's like to be her", it leaves me feeling lesser than I was before.

Many people are quick to hide the ugly, and share the happy. It's a false portrayal of reality. I guarantee every instagram "famous" person is fighting a battle we know nothing about. I am guilty of this (not the famous part lol); in March of 2018, I hit a low and decided I needed to delete my instagram account because I didn't have anything interesting or pretty to post, and I felt fake whenever I was posting.

There was a voice in my head telling me I looked pathetic trying to find things to post that would make me look good to other people. There was a part of me that believed I was less than others because I've had an eating disorder and suffer from depression. I never wanted to give anyone an idea that I was suffering a silent battle.

This has directly translated into my relationships. I was in a relationship going into college and through my first semester, and I had convinced myself that I couldn't share with him what I have (and still was) gone through. I thought it would make him dump me and think I was pathetic and weak. Although he never did ANYTHING to make me feel this would be the outcome, I was sure that it would be. Since then, I have told myself that I won't ever be able to be in a relationship again because I'll be hiding a huge secret that could destroy the relationship.

The other day, dear friend of mine (she's literally such a beautiful blessing in my life) said to me, "Mal, you're not bad for people". That hit me hard. It was something I have never heard out loud before, but I know I have heard it before; I heard it in my head. My mind has told me this lie time and time again. You are not good for people.

I believed this about my family and friends. The people who showed me the most unconditional love in my time of need were the ones who I felt I was ruining. I believed this about anyone in my future. I truly thought if I ever told anyone again, they wouldn't want to deal with me and there would be no future relationships for me without keeping my mental health a secret.

This has been one of the hardest things I've worked on overcoming. For the longest time, my therapist and I processed the pros and cons of telling people about my ED and depression. We worked on it for so long because one of my biggest fears has been about what people may or may not think of me if they know I've had an eating disorder or suffered from depression. Through endless hours of therapy, I never was able to say that I was scared of what might happen because I think I'm bad for people.

However, after my friend vocalized that, I've come to the realization that it is because of my recovery from my eating disorder and depression that I am good for people. I have so much love to give. We all have so much love to give. It takes shifting your focus from the negative energy and feelings you have to the positive parts of you. We are created so beautifully. Our minds are designed to love, to create, to inspire, to teach, to expand, and so much more. We are capable of so much more than believing lies that are told to us through unworthy platforms. We are worthy of believing in the truth of relationships, self love, and faith.

"Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony." -Mahatma Gandhi

Building a community around you that is focused on using their minds to promote positivity and healthy attitudes is so important. We cannot grow in environments that don't feed us. We need positivity to be positive. We need love to love. We need faith to be faithful. And we can do this by simply reaching out and conversing with someone. Break away from the negative bubble of social media and explore the relationships you have in your life. Work on discovering new ones.

Loving yourself comes from focus. We need to focus on the wonderful ways our minds and bodies work. Our personalities are our signature; mine unique to me and yours unique to you. Love that. Love the way your body sits in your chair: carrying a beating heart, expanding lungs, and full stomachs. Love the way you react to surprises: a snort laugh, loud gasp, or drop to the ground. Love the way your mind wanders as you try to fall asleep.

Believe in something bigger. Whether that be your religion, you community, or your practice. Believe there is a reason you're a part of it. When we have faith in something bigger than ourselves, we are humbled by how little control we have in our lives, but how much positivity we can make with what we have been given. Every time you park your car safely, remind yourself of your faith. Wake up every morning with the belief that the day has been given to you to go and do wonderful things.

And if nothing else, do your best.

XO

-Mal