I have a crazy suggestion. It might seem a bit far-fetched, but bear with me.
What if every political or philosophical discussion didn't have to turn into an argument?
What if, when we're up with our friends at three in the morning and politics or religion come up (as they so often do in my friend group), it didn't turn into a battle of snide comments and who can talk the loudest? What if we recognized that, when it comes to big ideas like the economy or the crises in the Middle East, we just accepted that none of us can really have all the answers and that none of us can be 100 percent right? What if, when we disagreed with people around us, we could be polite about that disagreement, instead of writing each other off as idiots?
Maybe this notion is a little out there, or maybe it's kind of common sense.
With the primary election in just a couple short weeks, there's a lot of political discussion going on. We should be able to talk about politics without losing friends.
I love talking about politics and big ideas, but I have some friends that I know simply not to talk about politics with, because we will always disagree unwaveringly. But I believe that we should be able to talk about controversial things, because those are the things that matter, without it turning into a fight. We should be able to talk about the ideas and values we have without the people around us taking it as a personal attack on their own ideas and values, should they differ. And when others share their ideas with us, they should be able to do so freely, trusting that we will hear them out.
I think this problem could be solved pretty easily if we just listened, really listened, to each other for once. Too often, instead of listening, we impatiently wait for our next opportunity to talk, which basically suggests to everyone around us that our ideas are more important and legitimate than anyone else's. That's kind of rude, isn't it? As I mentioned, when we talk about big ideas like the economy of an entire country, it's so hard to say who's actually right or wrong, so we really need to stop assuming that our ideas are the only ones worth being heard.
Maybe, when a friend voices some controversial political opinion that we find ourselves disagreeing with, instead of automatically going on the offensive and shutting down the potential for meaningful discussion, we asked why that friend held that opinion? If the idea in question is really that ludicrous, asking for an explanation is a pretty good indicator. But sometimes, people have ideas that are very different from our own because (this is an important concept) other people have different experiences, some of which we couldn't fathom. Differing opinions based in differing experiences deserve to be heard in their entirety.
My final point is that, when we discuss big ideas that we're really passionate about, we need to keep our cool. Someone disagreeing with us doesn't mean they're attacking us, and it doesn't mean that we're wrong. We need to be able to talk about things that matter without getting angry at each other for not agreeing on everything. If we can be calm and polite when discussing differences of opinions, maybe we'll be able to find common ground on the issues that matter.
