Stemming from numerable polarizing political issues, the nation edged toward an important critical mass. Many deeply complicated issues rallied for long-overdue attention and media recognition, pleading simply for preliminary steps toward addressing these long-unacknowledged issues. No longer willing to be pushed aside and swept under the rug, racial and political movements demanded recognition through social media and public demonstration. The American public, it seemed, had no where to go, but to respond and engage in the political climate. The scene was tantamount to a "Flammables and Powder Kegs" themed college bar.
At last, it seemed, America was about to have a serious and long look at itself in the mirror.
That was... until the Pokemon came. Intervening at a critical time in our nation's history, the explosively popular app, Pokemon GO has stepped up to the plate to distract most everyone from very serious issues on the national and international stage.
The game, launched just earlier this month, propelled its way into the national spotlight, pushing and shoving larger and scarier issues underneath its benign familiarity and interface. The company responsible for the app, Niantic, Inc. can be cited for this Deus ex Machina, essentially saving millions of Americans from difficult acknowledgements and critical decision making and the headaches resulting from thinking about hard stuff.
Renowned sociologist, Karen "The Sociologist" Duckworth, shared her insight on the matter:
"It seems that just as the nation was just about to come to a head, made possible from a long culmination of incendiary events, most notably the palpable tensions of the people vs. the police state from the Alton Sterling case, the growing Black Lives Matter movement, the Dallas sniper attack on police officers, and numerous others, the app "Pokemon GO" came in and distracted principal parties from political action. All in the honorable pursuit of "just catching that god damned Pickachu."
Said one American citizen, Robert Ulmost-Duwell:
"Thank GOD! The political climate just got too muddled and complicated in all these issues and in that screwy presidential race. Bleh. I mean my head was swimming! Hilary's emails, Trump's total lack of diplomacy. Brexit. I got really upset here. I really almost took to the streets this time! And then all of a sudden -- oh, oh hang on, you'll have to excuse me, there's a Jigglypuff right there on your shoe... Damn it... Damn it! Stay still you Kirby-knock-off little bugger you."
Many of Americans like Robert are wiping the sweat off their brows and running around towns, suburbs, and busy intersections in augmented reality in the life long pursuit of finally becoming "The very best, like no one ever was." The priority remains to capture the virtual monsters while the real ones remain at large.
When asked about this alarming effect on the American public eye, Niantic, Inc. responded: "Sure there are a lot of big issues at play on American soil... but you know what's easier than dealing with them? Not dealing with them at all. Now you'll have to excuse me, there's a Pidgey right there on your foot... Damn it... Damn it!"
Recognized immediately by the American Congress, the issue of Pokemon GO effectively "nerfing" the American public's political motivation is currently being addressed through a marathon filibuster.
No word yet on what progress has been made.
