Emptiness.

That’s all you are. That’s all you ever were.

Black tar,

lining my lungs as I breath in your poison while you scream you need more.

Yet everything I had was all you ever needed.

All you needed was for someone to take away your gun.

But I cowardly looked into your endless nothingness and backed away.

I gave in to you.

Your words chipped the exterior of my temple,

But you never reached the core of the universe, the bottom of the endless ocean, and you never came close to breaking through my sanctuary.

Your mind was constantly ticking to warn those around you.

To warn us that your rage was as consistent as your cocain heart.

The heart that beat rapidly through your chest until you exploded into a person who haunted me with such mindlessness.

I had a war in my mind.

Half of me was telling me to run while I could.

That you were capable of every gruesome threat snarled through your cigarette teeth.

The other half was telling me to believe.

To believe in the world the good in you took me to.

To believe that everytime you spoke so eloquently that I could mend those demons inside of you.

But through believing I could fix you,

Your demons turned against me.

For never being enough,

For never loving enough.

And through believing, I learned.

I learned that nothingness will always be nothingness.

I learned that something that loves you would never tear you out of the sky.

I learned that blackness always blends in with the night.

Now, there are roses covering the temple where you forced your hammer.

Covering every trace of you.

Every laugh.

Every tear.

Every memory.

Reminding me I’m unbreakable.

With no moral compass, you are always capable of ruining the morning sun.

The sun that could have been the start of a new day.