Hello, I am a prude
Or, a tease if you prefer
Cause really, leaving so much
To imagination is abnormal,
Especially at my age
I’m begging you to hit on me
Hello, I am a prude
And because I obviously have no grasp
Of how love, and sex, and lust works,
Your stares and ass grabbing in passing
Is the perfect way to make sure
I never forget I have options if I ever
Stop being so prissy
After all, you spent the remainder of my patience on that pickup line -
“Hey, you’re 17? So you aren’t
Jailbait anymore, huh?”
“Hey, I never fucked a redhead before,
I’ve heard they’re the wildest”
As if detailing the size of your dick
And why it isn’t as big as it used to be
Will suddenly make me realize that
Subconsciously, I must have been “saving myself” for you
And that if I just loosened up a bit,
People would like me more,
I’d have more fun,
Stand up fellas like you would show me affection
Through proposed one-night stands
I should be honored to take part in
Cause I’m a prude
And who wants to put that much effort into
A girl who won’t put out?
You have made me a paradox
If I wear a casual outfit,
I am a challenge
And I can only be taken seriously if I don’t talk
While you’re staring through my shirt
And if I show skin, it’s out of character,
I must be asking for it
I’m a slut and suddenly
Your fetish has been destroyed
But as long as you insist that
You love my innocence,
I can’t get offended
It’s all a joke, right,
It doesn’t really matter
Unless you’re a prude
And even if I’m not 18 yet,
I should respect the hilarity
In your dynamic
“Fuck me, and fuck off” attitude
As if it’s the best I’ll get
As if it’s all I deserve
As if I need to hear yet again that “all guys aren’t like that”
Because I’m a prude,
And I should be thankful that
You took time out of your day to talk to me
Instead of ogling my chest in my oh so provocative
Work shirt that, if stripped off,
Also strips me of my authority over you
And you’ll try, regardless of if somebody sees
Because it scares you when a woman tells you “no”
Because if you could only fuck her,
You’d show her what she’s been missing and how
Fulfilled she’d be if she just let somebody fill her
And stop being such a prude.
Hello, I am a person
And I am not defined by my sex life
I am not a fetish to place bets on
Or a challenge to beat
And just because I don’t want you
Does not mean I’m a prude.
Inspired by Savannah Brown's "Hi I'm a Slut" in an effort to fight fire with creativity.
