Life: the period of existence of an individual. At least that's what dictionary.com says, but what do I say when life has not been so good and nice? What do you say when life gives you less ups than downs and all you can do is put on a brave smile? What happens behind closed doors when the lights go off and your bed is cold without a soul and all you know is that what lies ahead can no longer be bread?
You want to live in the moment, but you can't forget the past. You want to move on, but something's holding you back. So what is it? What makes you want to leave everything behind and quit? Is it life? Is that why you sigh and cry at night? Are you scared of what else life has to bring? Is that the reason you want to pack your things and leave? Just leave everything behind because it's so hard?
You know what's hard? Listening to every single flaw that God created you with. It's bad enough that you know it, but it's supposed to be okay because life was soon supposed to come to the light anyway and it's only a matter a time that things would've hit the fan! I'm supposed to be kept strong because that's life, but why should I? Why can't I stand up to you? Is it the respect or is it the firm hand that I know you'll probably tame me with?
Why is it hard to tell you that "You're Wrong" or "That Wasn't Even Right?" Why can't I be perfect in your eyes because, believe me, I'm trying my hardest, but it'll never be enough for you; I'll never be enough to you, for you, or even against you if I tried to go that far, not that I would had the strength to do so.
I could change the world, move mountains, and be back home in time for dinner and school the next morning and all you would say is, "That's Good!" I could spit out the heavens and the earth and bring it to you on a silver platter and all you would say is "That's Good!" I could preserve the last chance to say "I love you" to say your life and all you would say is, "That's Good!" Is it too simple to ask "What is enough for you?" Oh wait, I'm never supposed to ask you a question when you've given your final word. But that's not even the worse part because deep down, I know that I'll be right back in the same spot, saying the words and promising myself that I would never let you put these ungodly thoughts in my head.
I hope that one day I'll make you smile and that the smile on your face would never be erased because I would finally be accepted by you and that's the greatest accomplishment given to me by God!
