Throughout the span of my life, I've heard the following statements said to me: “You would be so beautiful if you were skinny,” “Your face doesn't match your body,” and the best for last, “You are really pretty for a fat girl.” All great things that a girl with terrible self-esteem wants to hear! (That was supposed to be funny by the way.)

Why do we equate beauty with what our pant size is?

All of my life, I've been defined by my weight. Since the ripe old age of 12, I’ve been taunted, been told to go on Weight Watchers, and got moved to the back row of my dance recital performance. All of this lead me to an eating disorder that, thankfully, I was able to control but some never do. The pressure of fitting into this societal mold lead many to partake in unhealthy methods of weight loss.

These days, guys are ashamed to have people know that they like me or even associate with me, while being so quick and eager to talk about the other girls they have. It’s a vicious cycle of wanting to love your body but being torn down at the same time by unreachable beauty standards.

Thanks to our society, we believe that the smaller a person’s body is, the more beautiful they are. That we should be striving to be the skinniest version of ourselves every day of our lives. Due to the media, we are exposed to unrealistic body images every day. From magazines to TV commercials, we are shown what our body is supposed to look like, and those who don't fit the standard, are automatically casted aside.

One of the most prominent examples of this is a social experiment conducted by the YouTube account Simple Pickup. In their video “Fat Girl Tinder Date (Social Experiment)” they address a major issue: the number one fear for women when they online date is that they guy will be a serial killer. The number one fear for guys is that the girl will be fat. The video then goes along to show what happens when a guy shows up to a date and the girl isn’t the weight she said she was. In another video from the same account “Fat Guy Tinder Date (Social Experiment)” it shows what happens when the roles are reversed and a girl finds out her male tinder date isn’t the weight he said he was. The guys get angry, uncomfortable, and straight up rude. The girls on the other hand, were understanding and accepted the difference. Crazy, huh?

According to the International Journal of Fashion Design, Technology, and Education, the average American women today now wears between a size 16-18. I am one of those women. Women who, every day, feel less beautiful than most because they do not fit the beauty standards that have been set for them.

Although there have been strides to change the standard of beauty, they have been selective on who represents that new standard. Plus size models range between size 12 to 14, not even the size of the average American woman. Most do not have stretch marks, cellulite, or fat rolls. This creates an expectation on how a plus-sized woman is supposed to look and a lack of representation of real life body types.

It’s time to rethink our beauty standards. It should thrive on healthy living, good mental health, and happiness. We should stress health not skinny because skinny does not equal healthy. We should celebrate all bodies at all stages instead of only celebrating when we’ve lost weight. Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes and it’s time that society catches up to that.