Dating is so hard. Like, really hard. You put yourself out there, you meet new people and it is all a bit overwhelming. I think the worst part though is what can happen after the date…ghosting.
What is ghosting exactly? According to urban dictionary it is “The act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone the subject is dating, but no longer wishes to date. This is done in hopes that the ghostee will just "get the hint" and leave the subject alone, as opposed to the subject simply telling them he/she is no longer interested.” According to me, it is when someone is too immature to talk about their feelings…or lack thereof.
With so much social media, it is easy to just hit the delete button or block the person and be able to block someone out of your life permanently. However, that is not the way to handle a friendship or budding relationship. Dropping off the face of the earth is actually just rude and childish.
I know what you’re thinking, “but I don’t want to hurt them by telling them I’m not interested anymore.” You think you’re letting them off easily by just ignoring them and pretending like they don’t exist. Newsflash, that is not the case. I know right, shocking. It actually messes with their heads more. What is something I said? Was it something I did? Are they afraid of this turning into something? Is it about them? Did they find someone else? Thousands of questions running through the ghostee’s mind, and all you had to say was “Hey, so I had fun but I just don’t think I’m interested.” BOOM. Done. That is literally it. But instead, ghosting made more sense in your head?
We are growing up in a world where communication is so easy, yet so difficult at the same time. There are ways to communicate sitting right there, in our hands, on our laps, or on our desks all of the time. But do we use them? We still are afraid to use it to talk to people when we want to express our emotions.
So I challenge you to stop ghosting. Give closure to yourself and the person you’re talking to. Whether that be a friend, a tinder date, a guy you met at the bar… just text them and tell them you just aren’t feeling the relationship anymore. You don’t have to give them crazy details, or be inclined to spill all of your secrets either. Just have the decency to not just completely ignore them forever.
