Please Don't Make Me Read The Iliad Again

Please Don't Make Me Read The Iliad Again

There are so many other stories, with so many other sides.

Recently, I started taking a class on ancient mythology, which I have always been interested in. This interest can be traced back to my book shelf where 60 Second Mythology or Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes could be seen next to all of my other readings, along with a copy of the Iliad I had borrowed from a friend for an ancient literature class. My least favorite of the three was The Iliad, no doubt about that. Maybe it was because I had been forced to read it, or more likely because I had been forced to read it multiple times in the past few years. Whatever the reason, when my mythology teacher announced we'd be reading The Iliad again but not talking about it in class until it was read in its entirety, I was wary of the class. I even entertained the possibility of dropping, maybe trying to take a different version of the class in my final semester.

I didn't drop the class, because I figured it would be a pain and I wanted to learn about mythology, I wasn't going to let The Iliad rob me of that. The next day in class we began talking about the myth of the Crete Minotaur. In case you don't know the tale, I'll give you a quick run down. Every year Athens had to send young boys and girls to Crete as a tribute. The rumor was that the children were put into a maze where a bloodthirsty Minotaur, part man and part bull, was kept. The children never returned and in the legend one of the king's sons, Theseus, was selected to be a sacrifice to the Minotaur. The princess of Crete gives Theseus the information he needs to kill the Minotaur and he does so, saving the other children and escaping back to Athens with the princess who had helped him.

The tale was familiar to me because of a small book my mom had given me as a kid with exactly that tale, but delving into the layers of the myth was intriguing to say the least. I'll share a few tidbits with you that you might not know about the classic myth. The Minotaur was born, according to the legend, because Minos (the king of Crete) had tried to trick Zeus by keeping the holy bull Zeus had given him and instead sacrificing a regular bull to the god. In retaliation Zeus made Minos' wife lustful for the holy bull he had originally given Minos and from their relations the Minotaur was born. Another interesting fact in the myth is the fact that the Minoans (what anthropologists call Crete's inhabitants of the time) worshiped bulls so the whole tale can be seen as an allegory for the Minoans culture and their fall to the next tribe, the Mycenaean, who take over with warfare.

Although, my teacher told us offhandedly that during recent excavations there have been relics found which bring the Minotaur story into a different light. Archaeologists found what they concluded to be bull masks on the island of Crete, along with what appeared to be sacrificial knives and chambers. With this new information, it is not too far of a leap to guess that priests who carried out sacrifices for their gods, while wearing bull masks, became morphed into savage half man half beast legends to outsiders.

This kind of telephone type morphing of real life events and cultures is what makes mythology such a rich and ever-changing field. If I have to sparknote the Illiad in order to get this kind of new information on topics I thought I was familiar with, it seems like a fair trade. Sometimes knowledge is acquired by a teacher's offhanded updates more than it is by a third read of Homer's work.

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37 Drake Lyrics From 'Scorpion' That Will Make Your Next Instagram Caption Go Double Platinum

Side A makes you want to be single, Side B make you want to be boo'd up.


We all knew Scorpion was going to be the summer banger we wanted. However, Drake surprised us with two sides of an album and two sides of himself. Mixing rap and R&B; was genius on his part, so why not dedicate 37 of his lyrics to our Instagram captions?

1. "Don't tell me how knew it would be like this all along" — Emotionless

Definitely a "I'm too good" for you vibe.

2. "My mentions are jokes, but they never give me the facts" — Talk Up

This one's for my haters.

3. "I wanna thank God for workin' way harder than Satan" — Elevate

For when you're feeling blessed.

4. "I promise if I'm not dead then I'm dedicated" — March 14

In Drake's story about his son the world knows about now, we get a lyric of true love and dedication

5. "My Mount Rushmore is me with four different expressions" — Survival

6. "Pinky ring 'til I get a wedding ring" — Nonstop

7. "I gotta breathe in real deep when I catch an attitude" — 8 Out of 10

This first line of the song is about to be spread on the gram like a wildfire

8. "Heard all of the talkin', now it's quiet, now it's shush" — Mob Ties

9. "California girls sweeter than pieces of candy" — Sandra's Rose

This is gonna have every girl who has ever stayed in Cali all hot and heavy, watch it.

10. "I think you're changing your mind, starting to see it in your eyes" — Summer Games

Y'all know how these summer games go

11. "Look the new me is really still the real me" — In My Feelings

When you've got to profess that you've changed 200%

12. "Only beggin' that I do is me beggin' your pardon" — Is There More

13. "Shifted your focus, lens lookin' jaded" — Jaded

14. "Back and forth to Italy, my comment section killin' me" — Can't Take a Joke

Necessary for when you've got people hyping you up already

15. "People are only as tough as they phone allows them to be" — Peak

Y'all can't have this one, I'm stealing it

16. "Work all winter, shine all summer" — That's How You Feel

Put in the work so you can flex on 'em, summer 18

17. "Blue faces, I got blue diamonds, blue tint, yeah" — Blue Tint

18. "I stay busy workin' on me" — Elevate

19. "Ten of us, we movin' as one" — Talk Up

The perfect reason to get the largest group picture you've had on your gram

20. "October baby for irony sake, of course" — March 14

This statistically applies to 1/12 of y'all reading this, so take that as you will (we October babies are the best)

21. "She had an attitude in the summer but now she nice again" — Blue Tint

22. "I know you special girl 'cause I know too many" — In My Feelings

23. "Gotta hit the club like you hit them, hit them, hit them angles" — Nice for What

24. "She said 'Do you love me?' I tell her, 'Only partly,' I only love my ____ and my ____ I'm sorry" — God's Plan

If you haven't used this one yet, get to it

25. "But I'm blessed I just checked, hate me never met me in the flesh" — I'm Upset

26. "It's only good in my city because I said so" — 8 Out of 10

Follow this up with a location and shoutout your hometown

27. "My haters either on they way to work or they arrived" — Can't Take a Joke

28. "I always need a glass of wine by sundown" — Final Fantasy

Has Drake ever been more relatable?

29. "It's your f***in' birthday. Happy birthday" — Ratchet Happy Birthday

Let's go get kicked out of an Applebee's

30. "I move through London with the Eurostep" — Nonstop

31. "I stopped askin' myself and I started feelin' myself" — Survival

Mood all summer 18

32. "They keep tryna' get me for my soul" — I'm Upset

33. "I'm tryna see who's there on the other end of the shade" — Emotionless

34. "Only obligation is to tell it straight" — Elevate

35. "It don't matter to me what you say" — Don't Matter to Me

This line from the King of Pop (MJ) will give you chills. R.I.P.

36. "I'm the chosen one, flowers never pick themselves" — Sandra's Rose

37. "Say you'll never ever leave from beside me" — In My Feelings

Couple goals, amirite?

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19 Struggles Every Retail Worker Faces

Because if things were easy then you wouldn't have any stories to share.


At first, working in retail sounded so nice. Standing around folding clothes, talking to people, and getting paid. Sounds easy right...wrong. Here are just a few of the many struggles that retail workers face on the daily just to make their paycheck.

1. Screaming children


So let me get this straight. Tommy is allowed to start screaming in the middle of the store because he wants to go home but I'm not. Unfair.

2. Shoplifters


After working in retail for a bit, you get pretty good at reading body language. Nothing like getting to call security on a 13-year-old.

3. When the register freezes


4. One word: Inventory


Nothing like spending you're entire day counting out every single item in your store, right? The best is when you get distracted and loose your place.

5. When your coworker doesn't show up

Nothing like 10 people wanting your attention at once.

6. "Can I speak to your manager?"


Yes. let me bring them over here so they can tell you the exact same thing i just told you. The best is when someone asks you this and you are the manager.

7. Using change


Yes, please give me $20 worth of change that I can count out. Don't worry about the line, i'm sure they won't mind the wait.

8. Trying to bargain over prices


This isn't a negotiation. Either pay the price listed, or leave.

9. People leaving a mess

Nothing is better then watching someone completely mess up an area that you just spent the last 30 minutes cleaning.

10. Customers who come in 5 minutes before close


11. The boredom of a slow day


12. And the rush of a sale day


13. Overly-chatty customers


14. Asking about rewards cards


I get it. It's annoying and you probably don't have or want the card. We don't want to say it just as much as you don't want to hear it.

15. Checking the back


People tend to think that the back of the store is some huge endless supply of everything we have in the store. Nope.

16. Customers who try to come inside when the store is closed


Do you not see the sign?

17. Working long shifts with no breaks


18. Working. Every. Single. Weekend.


Because what's a social life anyway?

19. Waiting for someone to bring you change


As bad as things get, though, the store discounts make it all worth it!

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Photo by Hannah Morgan on Unsplash

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