A comment a few days ago really stuck out to me. It was along the lines of, “maybe guys aren’t attracted to you because you’re not very positive.” Okay, I’ll admit, I am a pretty pessimistic person at times. In fact, I would definitely call myself a pessimist because I expect bad things to happen. When bad things do happen, it doesn’t really affect me, and I’m able to keep rolling. When good things happen, they’re even better than normal because I’m not expecting it.
Listen, I know that I’m not always the most “positive” person. Many of my jokes are based on self deprecating, harsh, or unexpectedly depressing humor. Yet, the same people who tell me that I’m too pessimistic tell me I should get into stand-up comedy. Funny.
So, you’ll laugh at my jokes, tell me that I’m funny enough to actually perform, and then tell me in the same hour that I won’t find a guy who is attracted to me because of that humor? What is that supposed to mean? If I so want to “find a guy”, I’m pretty sure I can. Or, if I’m unsure, then I will choose to focus on the other things around me, like my schoolwork, my family, and my friends. I don’t necessarily need a relationship and I’m not necessarily looking for one.
Another thing that I’m sick of, since this apparently has turned into a rant because I’ve hit a wall when it comes to expressing my feelings with the people around me, is the constant boy talk. Dear god, it seems like every conversation I come across has something to do with a boy someone met at a party, from their class, or from damn Tinder. Even conversations that originally started out as just about how school is going, or about something in the news somehow always end up at the same subject: boys.
I’m so tired of it. Whether it’s wanting to know if a boy likes them back, or if the boy will text back or doesn’t text enough, it always seems to go back to this type of meaningless, petty drama. I’m also fairly certain I’ve angered a few people I would consider my friends by writing this. Sorry guys.
It’s so difficult for me to start a conversation about anything other than boys around people because it feels like the second I start talking about something I’m interested, the topic just goes right over everybody’s heads. Or, I will tell a group important information about plans, such as about bus lines, the time a place opens/closes, and they won’t hear me. I know I’m speaking loudly enough. Yet, when I speak it just gets ignored.
I am terribly sorry for letting the people around me know that this is an issue through an article instead of directly confronting them, but like I have said above, many of the topics I bring up go unnoticed. They will often get nods, “hmms” or some other weak response.
Come on guys. I know I’m not that boring to be around. I can tell you hundreds of stories about working at the golden arches over the summer, various injuries and scars, people I’ve met, places I’ve been, my opinions on anything from politics to cats to religion. It’s not like I’m boring. Strike up a conversation with me sometime about something other than boys and it will amaze you what I have to say.
Even if you do strike up a conversation with me about boys, I still might have some advice to give. However, I don’t want to just talk about that. I don’t consider myself “boy-crazy” and that shouldn’t be some proud fact. But, people are allowed to be however they want to be. I’m just not super interested in talking about the body language or the texting style of some boring dude with no personality down the hall hundreds of times over.
It takes me back to summer camp days where girls would be focused more on getting a guy’s attention than actually spending time at camp and doing the activities that their parents paid for them to do. And again, everybody has every right to whatever they wish with their time at this extended summer camp with homework and student loans that we call college, but I still want to do the activities that my parents are paying for.
What I’m trying to say here, to whatever friends I have left that won’t desert me after posting this, is that I would love to talk about topics other than boys. We can still talk about boys, sure. I just am tired of talking mainly about boys whenever we are all together between or after classes. It’s great to meet people and it’s great to build relationships, and it’s great to be social and do all the stuff that new college students do.
But if I have to go through one more conversation about getting some bro’s number, getting mad at a guy for not responding to texts (or not texting at all), or what a guy wears, I am going to lose it. Maybe you’ve seen a few of my breakdowns, if you’ve known me long enough. They’re not fun, and I would prefer not to have them as often. Thanks, that is all.
