Sometimes you meet someone and you think things might be different. You think maybe this person will understand your relationship with your family or your obsession to find the perfect cup of iced coffee, and, for a while at least, this person is different. This person is the one who understands you both are just two damaged kids who need the other one. Sometimes, however, this person can become toxic. It’s okay, though, humans aren’t programmed like a machine. We aren’t made to stay the same; we are made to grow, and that can mean growing apart from other people, as well.

I’m not going to lie to you and tell you it is easy to realize an important person in your life is hurting you rather than making you feel happy and wanted. It’s one of the worst things you can feel, but there isn’t a better way to put it. Moving away from someone you thought was so indescribable, someone who you believed, for months, was the one for you, is hard. It isn’t romantic. It isn’t poetic. It’s painful. However, it is also something you have to do.

You have to remove yourself from a situation you feel is no longer good for you. The person you’re trying to move away from might not see where you’re coming from, or maybe they do because they have been through it before. Whatever the case, if you feel like it is what you need to do then you need to do it. You cannot have someone in your life that you feel is not meant to be there because it will tear at you when you’re in bed at one in the morning or when you’re drinking your afternoon espresso or when you’re watching your favorite scary movie.

You have to let this person come and go from your life and hope that it is what is best.

Honestly, I can’t tell you if it’s the right thing to do. What I can tell you is, how you feel right now is not okay. It’s not okay for a person to tell you they belong in your life when you feel like it is the exact opposite. It’s not okay for a person to tell you your emotions are wrong and you need to change how you feel. How you are feeling is valid, no matter what the feeling may be. You are allowed to take control of your life and if that means burning some bridges along the way, then so be it.

You need to make sure you stay your number one priority.

At the end of it all, the only person we have to constantly deal with is ourselves and sometimes it’s hard to love ourselves, so there is no excuse to be surrounded by people who don’t love you for the right reasons.