The first time I met you, sparks were flying... Literally. In the blink of an eye, I lost you, all because timing was off. I don't ever wish that kind of pain heartbreak causes on anyone. I prayed that we would cross paths again sometime soon, not ever sure if I was really believing we would. But then, it happened.
All it took was one post on Instagram to change things. A friend of mine had posted a picture of her and I, not even ten minutes after being home did she send me a text saying you liked the picture. All of those butterflies came flying up my throat, because I knew you followed her and had always secretly hoped you would like on of the pictures she posted with me in it, but I never genuinely thought it would happen. And then it did.
I went through the battle internally, "Should I follow him? Is that too weird?" My friends all but jumped down my throat, saying if I didn't make some kind of move they would hack into my account and do it for me. So I did. And I waited, and waited, and waited. By the next morning, I was so irritated that you hadn't responded to the request, contemplating taking it back and forgetting about the whole thing. "If he didn't want me to follow him, he could've just declined the request, I just don't get it." I was venting to my friend while she drove, so angry, but mostly so hurt. I looked down at my phone not even two minutes later to see that you accepted and had then requested to follow me. I swear, my heart legitimately skipped a beat.
I started doing what every girl does, starts posting way more frequently then before. And I got absolutely nothing. Radio silence. All I could think was "You've got to be kidding me." I even went as far as posting a poll on my Story on Instagram, which I've hardly ever used. But, I posted something I knew would get your attention, and it did. You voted.
Side note: Please tell me I'm not the only girl who pulls little stunts like this... Haha.
A week later, my friend kind of slapped some reality into me and said, "Listen. He's probably scared since he's the one who destroyed you two to begin with. He probably has no idea that you want him to contact you. You need to open up the lines of communication here." I knew she was right, but I was terrified to send a DM that just said "Hey, what's up?" I literally couldn't do it, I was terrified. So, I did what any normal girl does, which is making up some story that I'm buying a truck and he's the only one I know that has a diesel and I wanted to know his thoughts. I knew he would respond to it, which eventually could open up other conversations.
So I did, and you responded very in depth, which led me to believe that you somewhat care, just because you would've been like, "Yeah, they're great." and be done with that conversation. But you didn't. And suddenly, I had to really go along with this conversation I had created just trying to find an excuse to talk to you.
Sure enough, the conversation eventually ended up on how we were both doing, that kind of thing. I ended it with saying something about possibly meeting up if you were open to it. And then I waited. Next morning, you still hadn't opened it. Noon hits, along with the reality that if you wanted to see me, you would've responded. Again, I was devastated just because this was it, this was closure. Everything I had been hoping for, ruined. Gone. "You're grasping at straws, he would've already said something. This is it, time to move on" my friend told me.
Ten minutes later, you message me back. You can't make this stuff up, people.
You said you wanted to meet up sometime, along with some sarcastic remark that I had missed so much.
And now folks, we wait for a response. All I'm praying is that I don't come on here again and have to write about how all of this was for nothing, and nothing ever came of it. Or that I get my heart trucked over again. I really hope it's not either of those outcomes.
Fingers crossed!
