How To Play Hard To Get

Listen Up Class, Here's The 411 Of Playing Hard To Get

A little teasing goes a long way.

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People play hard to get for many reasons. One is the desire to increase a demand for themselves. It'll create a stronger want. Before you decide whether or not you want to play games, you have to examine the type of guy you're involved with. If he doesn't understand sarcasm and is sensitive, then playing hard to get isn't the best choice.

So how do you actually play hard to get?

Playing hard to get is surprisingly not as hard as it may seem. The key is to act confident and not disclose nor express many emotions. A little teasing goes a long way. You have to withhold sex but give some physical contact and affection.

If you give little affection over long periods of time, it'll only make the desire increase. When you give attention, disappear for some time after. And the more you act like you're uninterested, the harder you're playing.

Another important rule when playing hard to get is to not be available. You have to be busy and make sure to prioritize other things. So when you get texts or calls, don't be in such a rush to answer.

But real talk, are you sure you want to play hard to get?

The con doesn't always work. If you overdo things, the person will decide you're too difficult and just remove himself from the equation. This is just another form of a game which only leads to disappointment, confusion, and sadness. To some extent, playing hard to get is a form of mental abuse to the men that you are considering dating.

Compromise!

A little fun never killed anybody. Life is all about balance. Playing hard to get intensifies the chase which makes it more interesting. You can play hard to get but you can't overdo it or you'll send the guy packing.

Be hard to earn, not hard to get.

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To The Toxic Relationship I Was Afraid To Let Go Of

To my younger self... I'm sorry.
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As time goes on the question that echoes in my mind is: "why?" Why did I let someone who was so undeserving have my love, time, and affection?

We all like to think that we have what it takes to mend the damage someone carries, but the fact of the matter is we don't. Hurt people, hurt people – and it was only when I tried to heal a bruised heart mine became the one in trouble. When you're young, vulnerable and under someone's spell you don't realize that you shouldn't have to rip yourself apart to keep someone else whole. I was scared of losing someone I didn't really have and I thought it was better to have someone halfway than not at all.

The irony of it all is that I grew up in a healthy environment. I have two parents who love my sister, each other, and myself unconditionally. They practice the same values they preach, some of which being loyalty, forgiveness, and how important it is to love each other despite the flaws that consume us. Those values were engraved so deep in my heart and soul I couldn't recognize when enough was enough or when to pull back and that just because I displayed these traits didn't mean they would be reciprocated. It took me a while to figure out I had to draw the line of determination from desperation.

It was a bittersweet realization when I looked up from my treacherous journey only to see it led me to a dead end, but I have never felt so liberated.

There's no denying I came out of the storm a different person and most definitely with a different heart. There were so many important lessons learned, both good and bad but the one thing that's for certain is it took me getting lost to find myself. You don't fully understand what you deserve until you experience something you don't. I learned the importance of self-worth and how crucial it is to not beat yourself up over the "coulda, shoulda, woulda's." I learned that in order to love someone, you have to start with yourself.

I know I'm not the only one who experienced this and I know I'm not the only one who wanted to figure it out on my own terms, but what I do know is that no one deserves it. I'm in my twenties now and still unsure of the actual meaning of love, but I know with absolute certainty that what I felt then was not it. I have so much growing, learning, and experiencing to do – and I fully intend on taking only those who deserve to be with me on my journey. No more and no less.

Everyone's story is different but the one thing they have in common is that we get to decide whom we share our stories with and how they make us feel. You never know which page your story will end with, so make sure it would be one you would be happy with. I urge every single one of you to rid yourself of people who do more harm than good. Life isn't forever.

Cover Image Credit: Thought Catalog

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Ghosting Is Not Only Annoying, It’s Childish—Get Your Act Together And Respond

It's time to stop ignoring conversations.

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The term ghosting is defined as the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication. (Also, how sad is it that it actually has coined definition.) Whether you are ignoring your co-worker, friend, tinder match, mom, I can guarantee you that everyone, at least once, has ghosted on someone.

And it's understandable. That's how our society is built now. If you don't like something, you stop using it and move on to something else. If you don't want to be in a conversation, you ignore it and move to the next conversation. But when you begin to do that with every conversation, you are no longer communicating. You're just being childish.

Ghosting is easy because if you don't like how the conversation is going, you can just exit out of your messaging app and pretend it never happened. But the problem is that the other person that's involved with that conversation can't pretend like it never happened. The intention behind the ghosting is still there. Whether you are mad at that person, feel uncomfortable, or just don't want to listen what the other has to say, the receiving communicator will still know what you're feeling because you can't think of a response. The "ghoster" just couldn't face their issues and decided to hide behind a screen. And that's infuriating. If you can't handle the responsibility or responding, you shouldn't be able to start a conversation at all.

Of course, it's easier said than done, but we need to get back into the habit of finishing conversations. We need to be able to face our problems and know how to communicate them to others. We need to understand true interaction if we want to be able to have a real relationship with other people. So stop being annoying. Stop being childish. Respond.

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