I would like to start by sharing a little background with you. I entered into my first year of college at SIUE as a hopeful, full of purpose, 18-year-old girl who knew exactly what she wanted in life. My major was nursing, with my goals being to graduate, get married and start a family. I thought that I had all I needed, and the future was in sight. Now as my sophomore year is completed, I have since changed my major (twice), and I no longer feel as though I know what I am supposed to do in this world.
What makes us successful? What makes us feel as though we are purposeful? I have pondered this time and time again, recently with trying to figure out what I want for my life. My goals and my wants have changed, my beliefs have grown and strengthened and it has lead me to a point in my life that I thought I would never be at. This has brought me to the thought of, "What if it is not what I want for my life, but what God wants for my life?" I used to think my plan was the best, especially with my planning nature, and I thought that I knew exactly how these next few years were going to play out for me. I was wrong. God has a plan that has been laid out for me before my existence was ever thought of, and his plan is much bigger and better than mine.
God makes us a promise in Jeremiah 29:11 when he says, “For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord. Plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” In the midst of my planning and my whirlwind of a life, I never stopped to truly ask God what his plan for me was. So here I am, feeling lost, like a disappointment to those who had watched me attempt to build this plan for my life and then saw as it all crumbled around me.
Then I look at God’s promise and I remember my purpose. My purpose is not my degree, or whether or not I have one. My purpose is not to have a family. My purpose is not in what I think my plans are. My purpose is in Christ and in him alone. My purpose is in the glorious plan that God has laid out for me in the part I will play for his kingdom.
There is an abundance of fear and anxiety in not knowing what my future holds (what’s new right?). In Isaiah 41:10 God says to us, “Fear not for I am with you, be not dismayed for I am your God, I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Although I have no clue where my future is headed at this point, I can look to God and his promise to me - to prosper me, to strengthen me, to not leave me in my fear and uncertainty.
So, if you are like me and you feel like your plans have come undone around you, I encourage you to stop planning. Now, I don’t mean to sit around and wait for things to happen because God also wants us to be wise in our choices and decisions. Matthew 1:10 “Behold I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves, so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves.” Instead, I suggest that you look to God to for your plan instead of yourself. As seen in Proverbs 3:5-6, “The heart of a man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.” Take heart in knowing that God already knows that you are trying to plan for yourself. So when he closes doors in your face, and it feels like your whole world is falling apart, it is because God knows his plan for you. He is establishing your steps towards him and away from the world.
