As we grew up, everyone asked us, "What do you want to be?" As a child, I had answers to this question. They would range from pop star, to teacher, to actress, to veterinarian. But as we got older, this question became more serious, people expected real answers from us. Some people, the lucky people, knew from the get-go what they wanted to do with their lives. These are the future doctors, nurses, and scientists of the world. People who knew their passion and the means to get it. They have plans, and hopefully their plans work out. Not all plans do, like mine.
I was one of the other type of people, the clueless ones. In high school, we were asked, "What are you going to major in in college?" and "What do you want to do with that?" I never knew what to say, so one day I decided I need to figure that out. I knew I where I wanted to go and what I wanted to be. I was going to go to college, four years later I would get my degree, then I was going to get a job, get married to my long term boyfriend, and start having children. It was going to be the perfect life until it wasn't going to be my life anymore.
I did not get accepted into the college I wanted. I went into freshman orientation, at a school I did not want to go to, as one major, and left undecided. I went from major to major, never knowing what I wanted to do. I decided it was time to change things. I applied as a transfer to my top choice school, and this time, I got in. I also thought I knew what major I wanted to do there until I didn't anymore. I still had no idea and was still jumping from major to major. I contemplated whether I even needed school. I applied to transfer out of state, to the true school of my dreams. I even got in, but that fell through.
My point with this story is that I had a plan, that was being ever changed. It was one thing, after another, after another. My point is that even if you had a plan, and it didn't work out, the world is not over. I am so grateful for my freshman year at my first college, I made lifelong friends. I am grateful for my journey through college. It has taught me that it is okay to not know what you want to do. I am a rising senior, getting a degree in International Studies, something I will probably never be able to use. It's even going to take me an extra summer to graduate. I am grateful to be able to have a college degree one day. I am grateful that my relationship ended and was able to focus on myself.
If I were to be asked today, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I still could not give a solid answer. The only thing I know to answer to that question is "happy." I want to be happy. I had a plan. My life just had a different, better plan for me.