This past Wednesday, something groundbreaking happened in New York. This is big, guys. Perhaps the biggest thing to happen in the last century. Certainly the best. Are you ready for this? A guy in New York, the owner of a pizzeria called Vinnie's, revealed his genius for the world to see. A pizza, put within a box that is not plain, boring cardboard like all the ignorant pizza places out there have been doing for years, but a box made purely out of pizza itself.
That's right, people. It's 100 percent pizza. Pizza within pizza. All the pizza. Has there ever been anything more glorious?
If your saliva glands aren't already working hard enough to cause a fountain of drool to cascade from your mouth, let me help you with that. The actual pizza pie is a classic savory circle of pepperoni perfection. The layers that form the "box" are beautiful, fluffy squares of Sicilian pizza, layered with tomato sauce and gooey cheese. To keep this national treasure from losing any of its freshness, the pizza box is wrapped in tin foil. And that, my friends, is how you make a masterpiece.
The mastermind behind this novelty is Sean Berthiaume, who says that an angel appeared to him with the idea. Okay, so he didn't say that. But surely that's what happened, right? What actually occurred, according to an article that Fox News published, was that the concept came to Berthiaume as he watched customers order a few slices, then just throw the cardboard box in the trash. Upset at the all the waste happening in his very own pizzeria, he decided to make a way that the pizza box wouldn't have to be discarded. Obviously that way was a box made out of pizza, because this man is a revolutionary.
I have a little bit of a sad note to add here. The pizza box, well, it's a whopping $40. But, man, how can you really put a price on a pizza encased within two more pizzas? The answer is that you can't. We're getting a steal here, honestly, because that thing is worth more than its weight in gold.
I'm going to assume you're already at Vinnie's, eating as you read because you simply couldn't wait to finish this article before you got that cheesy excellence in your mouth. If you aren't, what are you waiting for? Gather up all the people whom you know would cry tears of unadulterated joy at a vision such as this, get yourselves to New York, and shove your faces. Fly, you fools. And godspeed.
A man who found a way to make pizza even more amazing and helping out the environment? Good luck ever topping that (get it?). He isn't the hero we deserve, but the hero we need.
