For many people, having a lot of friends is important. The more friends you have on Facebook, the more followers you have on Instagram, the more numbers you have in your contact list the better, right? Don’t get me wrong: I love having a lot of friends and making new ones. But often, I find myself more concerned with the quantity of my friend list rather than the quality of those already on my friend list.
Recently, the term pillar people has frequented many conversations I’ve had in past few weeks. And the more I think about it, the more I think this term makes sense.
The term pillar people was recently described to me by a new friend: “It is the idea of friends who show up; friends who really show up. These people are the first to call if something goes wrong in your life. They will carve out space for you. Pillar people are those I can trust entirely so I can be myself, warts and all. It is empowering to feel like you have people who really hear you and see you.”
Pillar people are those people with whom you feel deeply connected, like you truly belong. Brené Brown, a well-known scholar and author, believes when we’re with these pillar people, “we can let go of who we want to be and be who we truly are.”
It is so important to have pillar people who truly know the real you. These people recognize when you’re not yourself; they know when you’re having a bad day; they are aware your quirks; they understand the desires of your heart.
The pillar people in my life have stood beside me through my toughest days and pushed me to be better—even and especially when I don’t necessarily want them to be. These friends of mine are steady, faithful and true. I need them and I could not live a full life without them.
And, get this: your pillar people don’t have to be exactly like you! It doesn’t matter if you have different beliefs, different passions or different passions. The only thing that matters is having a deep and mutual desire for the good of another.
Don’t let weeks or years go by without thanking your pillar people. There have been far too many instances where I have forgotten or neglected to thank my pillar people. It is easy to take for granted those closest to us. These people, more than anyone else, deserve our deepest gratitude.
Who are your pillar people? Who are those friends with whom you feel completely yourself? Who are those individuals who help you live a full life? Find those people and hold on to them because when the world falls short, our pillar friends will stand firm.
