29 Pickup Lines English Lovers Will Appreciate (And 1 They Will Hate)

29 Pickup Lines English Lovers Will Appreciate (And 1 They Will Hate)

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When it comes to the use of pickup lines, those who have a love for literature and the English language are among some of the hardest people to impress. The tendency toward critical thinking, knowledge of grammar rules, and awareness of universal themes that many of these individuals possess make them exceptionally immune to the cheesy nature of typical pickup lines.

Despite the condescending judgments we often pass on these jests, English enthusiasts still enjoy joking and engaging in the exchange of these flirtatious lines. In the same way that exchanging claims such as “You’re the only 10 I see” is enjoyable in an unserious manner between friends, modified versions that cater to our needs and sense of humor as English gurus can perhaps be one of the most endearing things said to us. Our Great Expectations may come off as lofty and contemptuous, but our appreciation for affectionate jokes and developed pickup lines leave us as vulnerable and susceptible to their tag lines as anyone else. Appealing to our love of English and literature is therefore a surefire way into an English person’s heart.

Whether you are a literary admirer looking for a good laugh or just attempting to impress an English major, this list of grammatical and literary pickup lines is certain to amuse any English buff. I’ve compiled this list of some of the wittiest English-related pickup lines that are sure to satisfy any English enthusiast’s wish for humor, irony, and proper grammar.

Here are some of the best I’ve found.

  • I Sense you have a lot of Sensibility. Is that too Austen-tacious of me to say?
  • I believe in The Importance of Being Earnest, so I’m just going to say it: I’m Wilde about you.
  • I could say that I wandered lonely as a cloud before I met you, but what are these Wordsworth if you won’t go out with me?
  • I’d never say “Farewell” to those Arms.
  • I’m no Jane, but I’d Eyre on the side of saying I think you’re beautiful.
  • You must be an overdue library book, because I checked you out, and you have fine written all over you.
  • Can I call you “whom”? Because you’re the object of my affections.
  • You must be Godot, because I’ve been waiting for you all my life.
  • I like my Kindle, you like paper, together we could start a fire.
  • My love for you will last longer than a sentence written by Faulkner.
  • Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? You’re just as hot but have a nicer butt.
  • Let’s be more than Franz.
  • Your ex was so Comic Sans, but I’m all Times New Roman and yours for the formatting.
  • If I said you have a beautiful narrative form, would you hold it against me?
  • You’ve got my heart beating so fast, someone’s going to start tearing up floorboards.
  • Life without you is like a list without the oxford comma, ambiguous.
  • Did it hurt? When you fell from Heaven is For Real?
  • You had me at "Othello."
  • You had me at the correct use of “you’re.”
  • Are you Emily Dickenson?
    Because I think you’re --
    Quite Dashing --

  • You must be a banned book, because you’re on fire.
  • ISBN thinking about you all day.
  • Your Big Brother must really watch over you, because on a scale of 1 to 10, you’re probably a 1984.
  • I can’t hide the feelings in my Tell-Tale Heart; I think you’re POEfect in every way.
  • You are like a great nature poem, and I am Thoreau-ly in love with you.
  • Dewey belong together? Because we make a great system!
  • Are you Mr. Darcy? Because I’m barely tolerable, and, if forced to endure your company, may eventually grow to love you.
  • I was surrounded by strangers before we met, And Then There Were None but you in my heart.
  • I diagrammed “Be my valentine.” It’s an imperative sentence.
    (you) | be \ valentine

    | \ my

Depending on an individual’s personal preferences and areas of interests, some of these will be funnier to some people than others. Regardless, this list ranges in themes and subjects and is sure to warm the hearts of English aficionados everywhere.

I will conclude with this warning. When it comes deploying general pickup lines, use discretion in selecting which you will use. But I implore you, please, for the love of all that is good and just in the world, do not use the infamous line about rearranging the alphabet.

“If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I next to each other.”

While this seems like a line that may appeal to a linguist, the play on words created here suggests that I am putting you and I together. Technically, however, this is a grammatical error. In this situation, since the personal pronouns being put together are direct objects, the end result should be putting you and me together. Unfortunately, this doesn’t work so well given me isn’t a letter in the English alphabet. It’s the thought that counts. But in this case, the thought is grammatically incorrect.

This article is a compilation of pickup lines taken or adapted from various sources as well as a few of my own creations. These and more English jokes, memes, and pickup lines can be found at the links above and by using the Twitter hashtag, #LitPickupLines.

Cover Image Credit: Twitter

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College As Told By Junie B. Jones

A tribute to the beloved author Barbara Parks.
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The Junie B. Jones series was a big part of my childhood. They were the first chapter books I ever read. On car trips, my mother would entertain my sister and me by purchasing a new Junie B. Jones book and reading it to us. My favorite part about the books then, and still, are how funny they are. Junie B. takes things very literally, and her (mis)adventures are hilarious. A lot of children's authors tend to write for children and parents in their books to keep the attention of both parties. Barbara Park, the author of the Junie B. Jones series, did just that. This is why many things Junie B. said in Kindergarten could be applied to her experiences in college, as shown here.

When Junie B. introduces herself hundreds of times during orientation week:

“My name is Junie B. Jones. The B stands for Beatrice. Except I don't like Beatrice. I just like B and that's all." (Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus, p. 1)

When she goes to her first college career fair:

"Yeah, only guess what? I never even heard of that dumb word careers before. And so I won't know what the heck we're talking about." (Junie B. Jones and her Big Fat Mouth, p. 2)

When she thinks people in class are gossiping about her:

“They whispered to each other for a real long time. Also, they kept looking at me. And they wouldn't even stop." (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 66)

When someone asks her about the library:

“It's where the books are. And guess what? Books are my very favorite things in the whole world!" (Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus, p. 27)

When she doesn't know what she's eating at the caf:

“I peeked inside the bread. I stared and stared for a real long time. 'Cause I didn't actually recognize the meat, that's why. Finally, I ate it anyway. It was tasty...whatever it was." (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 66)

When she gets bored during class:

“I drew a sausage patty on my arm. Only that wasn't even an assignment." (Junie B. Jones Loves Handsome Warren, p. 18)

When she considers dropping out:

“Maybe someday I will just be the Boss of Cookies instead!" (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 76)

When her friends invite her to the lake for Labor Day:

“GOOD NEWS! I CAN COME TO THE LAKE WITH YOU, I BELIEVE!" (Junie B. Jones Smells Something Fishy, p. 17)

When her professor never enters grades on time:

“I rolled my eyes way up to the sky." (Junie B., First Grader Boss of Lunch, p. 38)

When her friends won't stop poking her on Facebook:


“Do not poke me one more time, and I mean it." (Junie B. Jones Smells Something Fishy, p. 7)

When she finds out she got a bad test grade:

“Then my eyes got a little bit wet. I wasn't crying, though." (Junie B. Jones and the Stupid Smelly Bus, p. 17)

When she isn't allowed to have a pet on campus but really wants one:

“FISH STICK! I NAMED HIM FISH STICK BECAUSE HE'S A FISH STICK, OF COURSE!" (Junie B. Jones Smells Something Fishy, p. 59)

When she has to walk across campus in the dark:

“There's no such thing as monsters. There's no such thing as monsters." (Junie B. Jones Has a Monster Under Her Bed, p. 12)

When her boyfriend breaks her heart:

“I am a bachelorette. A bachelorette is when your boyfriend named Ricardo dumps you at recess. Only I wasn't actually expecting that terrible trouble." (Junie B. Jones Is (almost) a Flower Girl, p. 1)

When she paints her first canvas:


"And painting is the funnest thing I love!" (Junie B. Jones and her Big Fat Mouth, p. 61)

When her sorority takes stacked pictures:

“The biggie kids stand in the back. And the shortie kids stand in the front. I am a shortie kid. Only that is nothing to be ashamed of." (Junie B. Jones Has a Monster Under Her Bed, p. 7)

When she's had enough of the caf's food:

“Want to bake a lemon pie? A lemon pie would be fun, don't you think?" (Junie B. Jones Has a Monster Under Her Bed p. 34)

When she forgets about an exam:

“Speechless is when your mouth can't speech." (Junie B. Jones Loves Handsome Warren, p. 54)

When she finds out she has enough credits to graduate:

“A DIPLOMA! A DIPLOMA! I WILL LOVE A DIPLOMA!" (Junie B. Jones is a Graduation Girl p. 6)

When she gets home from college:

"IT'S ME! IT'S JUNIE B. JONES! I'M HOME FROM MY SCHOOL!" (Junie B. Jones and some Sneaky Peaky Spying p. 20)

Cover Image Credit: OrderOfBooks

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Must-See Movies For Your Summer

Check out these movies in theaters soon!

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I can't wait till these movies come out. Going to the movies during summer is a great escape from the heat, giving you a few hours in the air conditioning while enjoying a big tub of popcorn.

Here are a few movies to check out this summer when you want to cool down for a little while:

1. "The Lion King"

2. "Aladdin"

3. "The Hustle"

4. "Men in Black: International"

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