When it comes to the use of pickup lines, those who have a love for literature and the English language are among some of the hardest people to impress. The tendency toward critical thinking, knowledge of grammar rules, and awareness of universal themes that many of these individuals possess make them exceptionally immune to the cheesy nature of typical pickup lines.
Despite the condescending judgments we often pass on these jests, English enthusiasts still enjoy joking and engaging in the exchange of these flirtatious lines. In the same way that exchanging claims such as “You’re the only 10 I see” is enjoyable in an unserious manner between friends, modified versions that cater to our needs and sense of humor as English gurus can perhaps be one of the most endearing things said to us. Our Great Expectations may come off as lofty and contemptuous, but our appreciation for affectionate jokes and developed pickup lines leave us as vulnerable and susceptible to their tag lines as anyone else. Appealing to our love of English and literature is therefore a surefire way into an English person’s heart.
Whether you are a literary admirer looking for a good laugh or just attempting to impress an English major, this list of grammatical and literary pickup lines is certain to amuse any English buff. I’ve compiled this list of some of the wittiest English-related pickup lines that are sure to satisfy any English enthusiast’s wish for humor, irony, and proper grammar.
Here are some of the best I’ve found.
- I Sense you have a lot of Sensibility. Is that too Austen-tacious of me to say?
- I believe in The Importance of Being Earnest, so I’m just going to say it: I’m Wilde about you.
- I could say that I wandered lonely as a cloud before I met you, but what are these Wordsworth if you won’t go out with me?
- I’d never say “Farewell” to those Arms.
- I’m no Jane, but I’d Eyre on the side of saying I think you’re beautiful.
- You must be an overdue library book, because I checked you out, and you have fine written all over you.
- Can I call you “whom”? Because you’re the object of my affections.
- You must be Godot, because I’ve been waiting for you all my life.
- I like my Kindle, you like paper, together we could start a fire.
- My love for you will last longer than a sentence written by Faulkner.
- Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? You’re just as hot but have a nicer butt.
- Let’s be more than Franz.
- Your ex was so Comic Sans, but I’m all Times New Roman and yours for the formatting.
- If I said you have a beautiful narrative form, would you hold it against me?
- You’ve got my heart beating so fast, someone’s going to start tearing up floorboards.
- Life without you is like a list without the oxford comma, ambiguous.
- Did it hurt? When you fell from Heaven is For Real?
- You had me at "Othello."
- You had me at the correct use of “you’re.”
- Are you Emily Dickenson?
Because I think you’re --
Quite Dashing --
- You must be a banned book, because you’re on fire.
- ISBN thinking about you all day.
- Your Big Brother must really watch over you, because on a scale of 1 to 10, you’re probably a 1984.
- I can’t hide the feelings in my Tell-Tale Heart; I think you’re POEfect in every way.
- You are like a great nature poem, and I am Thoreau-ly in love with you.
- Dewey belong together? Because we make a great system!
- Are you Mr. Darcy? Because I’m barely tolerable, and, if forced to endure your company, may eventually grow to love you.
- I was surrounded by strangers before we met, And Then There Were None but you in my heart.
- I diagrammed “Be my valentine.” It’s an imperative sentence.
(you) | be \ valentine
| \ my
Depending on an individual’s personal preferences and areas of interests, some of these will be funnier to some people than others. Regardless, this list ranges in themes and subjects and is sure to warm the hearts of English aficionados everywhere.
I will conclude with this warning. When it comes deploying general pickup lines, use discretion in selecting which you will use. But I implore you, please, for the love of all that is good and just in the world, do not use the infamous line about rearranging the alphabet.
“If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I next to each other.”
While this seems like a line that may appeal to a linguist, the play on words created here suggests that I am putting you and I together. Technically, however, this is a grammatical error. In this situation, since the personal pronouns being put together are direct objects, the end result should be putting you and me together. Unfortunately, this doesn’t work so well given me isn’t a letter in the English alphabet. It’s the thought that counts. But in this case, the thought is grammatically incorrect.
This article is a compilation of pickup lines taken or adapted from various sources as well as a few of my own creations. These and more English jokes, memes, and pickup lines can be found at the links above and by using the Twitter hashtag, #LitPickupLines.