Oh how the time has flown! It's been a little over a year since I got the opportunity to lead Junior Retreat last year. Since then, I have gone to college, my retreatants became seniors, and some of them even led their own retreats! I've spent a lot of time reflecting on my retreat experience and the more I do the more impactful that experience becomes.
A little more than a year ago, I was chosen by our campus ministry department to be one of the leaders for Junior Retreat. My excitement level was through the roof because this was my favorite of all the retreats I'd ever gone on and I had wanted to lead it badly. I was also informed that my small group co-leader was one of my good friends which only made the excitement build.
Going into retreat, my two biggest concerns were my talk and my small group. I didn't have any worries about the talk itself, but rather how it would be received by the retreatants. More specifically, I was worried that for some reason or another my small group might not like me. I knew most of the people in my small group, but the fear was nonetheless there.
However, once the retreatants arrived and we went into small group, my fears evaporated. I immediately bonded with my small group and my nervousness for my talk died down a lot. After I gave my talk and we went to small group to discuss it I felt entirely comfortable even though I had just spilled my guts in front of them.
After my retreat, I knew that my favorite part of the entire thing was my small group. My small group showed compassion for one another, they showed openness, they were vulnerable, and I truly felt like they took the retreat seriously. I loved the fact that all of us were so willing to show so much emotion for one another and that we were still able to have fun and laugh. My favorite moment of the entire retreat was the last day when we took small group photos. We decided for our fun picture to stack into a pyramid, which I don't think had been done previously, and we all look genuinely happy. It is still one of my favorite photos I have to this day.
A lot happened in that year since retreat. I learned that a lot of the struggles I talked through in my talk were due to anxiety and/or depression. More importantly, however, I learned that you can take experiences and choose how you let them define you. For the bad experiences, I know that I can choose to take the good things out of them and not let those experiences impact me in a totally negative fashion. For the positive experiences, such as leading retreat, I can choose to live out those values every day. I brought my retreat binder with me to school to look at sometimes, and I never take my leadership ring off. I want that experience to always be with me. I cherish that time so dearly and I cannot thank my retreatants, my co-leader, and the campus ministry staff enough for giving me this opportunity.
