When I think of my brother I think of the sweetest kid in the world. He is 12-years-old and just by looking at him, you cannot tell that he is mentally retarded. He is a normal kid by all means on the outside. The word 'retard' describes his developmental delay. It should not be used as a stereotype of a stupid person like society often uses it today with the phrase, “You’re a retard." All mentally retarded children are different, thus giving the word multiple definitions. The word should not be used to describe something that is stupid, because 'retard' does not meant that. It often means a delay in one area. Many mentally retarded children are really smart about one specific thing. For my brother, that is dinosaurs. You can ask him anything about a dinosaur and he knows it. He knows the type, what they ate and even where they lived, and he is fully capable of telling you.
The word 'retard' is often used as a demoralizing term in today’s society. By continuing the demoralizing definition/slang, the word takes on a new meaning as stupidity, when in actuality, the word means less developed than normal. In order to change this demoralizing term, people have to understand the true meaning of the word retard and consequently know the effect of their own words.
My brother may not understand what the word means, but for my family and myself it is rather insulting due to us thinking the world of him. It is also insulting due to the slang term that has been derived in society. Knowing that someone is mocking my brother’s developmental delay is ultimately insulting. Also, what happens if my brother learns what the word means and he hears someone call himself or someone else a retard? Either way, he will feel vulnerable and have a lowered self-esteem, and feel like he can’t do anything or is useless when in fact he is an amazing contribution to society. My brother has taught me a variety of life lessons that I couldn’t have learned anywhere else.
'Retard' as defined by Urban dictionary is “An offensive term used to refer to someone acting in an irritating or generally stupid way”, whereas there is another post on urban dictionary with this definition: “I am the proud Father of three children, one of whom has Down Syndrome. This is a genetic defect in which the child has an extra chromosome. My son is labeled by society as being retarded. This is measured by standard I.Q. tests that have been developed for many purposes but for too long now have been used to simply label people. If you met my son I would hope that you would get to see the person that I see. I don't see the physical characteristics that might cause you to be uneasy around him or to avoid him, but I see the perfection of what was intended for people to be. My son will greet you with a smile that can light up the world. If he has met you once he will remember your name and be genuinely glad to see you. He knows your moods before you do and wants to see you happy. My son will easily tell you he loves you if that is how he really feels, and he greets people with the best hugs you'll ever get from anyone. My son’s emotional intelligence is off the charts. He loves people, and when some are rude to him, he forgives and moves on. To meet him once is to never forget him, and to meet him twice is to always be in love with him. He is excited by life and too many times life tries to beat him down, take his spirit, and turn him into society’s label of what he should be. My son is better then what society wants for him and he fights it back like no one else I have ever seen. So my definition of retarded is not one of something negative but of something to be celebrated. My definition of retarded is "Love in its purest form."
The first definition is an attack or a rude manner of using the word retard. The second definition shows how there is an emotional impact to the word and how individuals who know someone who is a retard feel about the person. The second definition shows that a retard is still a person and that they have feelings, and that no matter what a person is a person and shouldn’t be stereotyped by something that they cannot control.
The Oxford English dictionary's definition is “To keep back, to delay, hinder, and impede (person or thing in respect of progress, movement, action, or accomplishment)” (“Retard” Oxford English Dictionary). I feel that this is the proper definition and should be the one more commonly used. I feel this because this is the scientific definition; this is what is actually wrong with my brother. This is not the stereotype this is what is fact. It is not insulting; it is informative and helpful. It’s helpful because you can tell others and they understand and are more considerate.
The underlying reason for the different uses of the word 'retard' are political, social, cultural and personal. Politically, the government sees retards as not amounting to anything therefore they feel the definition of the word does have to do with stupidity. Socially, goes along the same lines but with the word being such a common term it is therefore repeated way more often than it should be. With one person using the word and another hearing it it spreads the usage. Culturally, people do not see what a retard really is so they make assumptions therefore also using the slang definition of stupidity. Finally, personally, people utilize the word in the wrong content not only do to the spread, and the belief of not amounting to anything, but also because they don’t see a retard for what is behind the scenes. All of these groups don’t see a retard as a person when utilizing the word retard for stupidity because if they did they would know that a retard ultimately has feelings just like the rest of us. Teenagers and adults tend to use the word and the context is almost always stupidity. “Dude stop acting like a retard." There is a limitation to the word, however, with there being two main meanings utilized in society. The word is often used in its verb and noun form although the meaning still stays the same.
When the stupidity definition is chosen over the developmental delay definition it makes the person who has the retard quality feel unimportant, and useless and like they will never amount to nothing. It also has an effect on the family the family feels insecure and that they can’t do as much also due to having a retard in the family. It also makes them feel like they are lesser than others just like how the retard feels.
Personally, I find it insulting when the word is used because I know that my brother is by no means stupid. I feel that when people use the word they are stereotyping my brother and I feel that they are trying to make him feel inferior. Realistically he is quite capable of making others feel inferior. To me a person is a person no matter how small.
