I am tired of seeing post after post about cutting people out and separating oneself from others in the name of self-love, and I am sure you are too. In light of this, here are some thoughts from a nineteen-year-old college freshman on why blocking/unfriending/unfollowing/ignoring/avoiding are unhealthy and immature responses when we feel mistreated.

Unavoidably, in light of the new year, my feed is full of wants, desires and goals for the year ahead, but there is a trend I (and I'm sure you too) have noticed in regards to "starting the new year fresh." It appears that almost anyone and everyone is aiming to cut someone "toxic" out of their lives. Whether it be because of past hurt, lack of desired attention, or determining that having people in your life that do not devote time and attention to you is self-destructive, people everywhere are deciding that some people are just not worth having in their lives.

This mindset is immature, selfish, and just all around disappointing. Especially when it comes from those who claim the importance of love in our lives and the world.

The thing about this is that I'm seeing this kind of mindset from virtually everyone and they are getting praised for it. For some reason, in our culture, it is celebrated when people turn away from their friends or even family members if they are not receiving 100% of the love, attention and recognition they feel they deserve. People are even going so far as to label this type of response as "self-love."

I am sorry, but that is not love.

Love is realizing that sometimes life is hard, people mess up and people will not have the energy or time to constantly give of themselves, but you still choose to cultivate the relationship because you want to love those around you unconditionally. Since when has conditional and circumstantial love, support, and friendship become the "right thing to do" for ourselves.

Cutting someone out is not "tough love." It is petty selfishness.

Coming from a Christian perspective, I can tell you that if you search the Bible, you will not find a single instance, story, or verse where Jesus cuts someone off in the name of loving himself. We are called to love one another unconditionally (1 John 3:16).

Instead of cutting each other out and we are supposed to be building each other up, even more so when we do not feel like doing it. There have been times when my friends, boyfriends, and family members have cut me down and made me feel awful, but I did not let that affect the way I love them because I recognize that sometimes it is not easy to constantly give, and in fact, it is often times exhausting. We just can not expect that from people. It is draining and impossible

Bottom line: an imperfect person does not equal a toxic person.