My once best friend,

It's clear to see that we are both different people now. However, you've changed for the worse, and I'm sorry you have. I'm sorry that I couldn't have prevented this, I'm sorry that you don't actually see your downfall, and I'm sorry that I have to sit here and watch it. I hate who you have become, and I know you are better than this. I hate being disappointed in you, and I hate still caring about you. You stopped being my friend when I needed you here the most, and that's not fair.

I see now that you used me for your own benefit.You knew I would always drop anything to help you, but you would never do the same for me. At first, I accepted that, then for a second, I thought you had started to care about me the same way I did for you. I was wrong. I now understand that you don't have the ability to care for anybody but yourself, and even that is hard for you. I hate seeing you do this to yourself, ruining your life and just overall failing.

I still wish there was a way that I could help you, but I know that you're past that. You're past listening to anybody, you're past caring about anybody. You always hated your emotions, well, it seems as if you finally were able to rid yourself of all of them. I'm sorry that this is your life now. However, I feel more sorry for myself. I feel dumb and idiotic. I can't even fathom how I could have ever been so close to you. You are a completely different person now, you've changed so much that I can no longer recognize you.

I feel sorry for myself for letting you cause this much damage to me. You were always toxic for me, and I guess I just needed to lose you to realize this. So, in a way, this was all a blessing. I guess that means a thank you is in order. So, thanks. Thanks for making me realize that friends can break your heart too, thank-you for showing me how much better off I am. Thank you for motivating me to surround myself with better people. Thank-you for it all, because being knocked down that far has allowed me to come back up even higher than I was with you in my life.

You're not the same person you once were, and that's okay because I'm not either. However, the difference is, I'm a better and stronger person than I was before. You, on the other hand, I don't know if you'll ever come back from this downfall. I hate that this is who you are now, I hate that I had to write this about you, and I hate that you don't know what you put me through. I hate that you don't care about any of this. I hate how I know you won't even read this. I hate how I still care about if you read this. Most of all, I hate how I'm always going to care and worry about you.

You don't deserve to be the focus of any of my prayers, but you're one of the main topics of them. You don't deserve for me to even still think about you and wonder how you're doing. You don't deserve any of this. I hate who you have become, I hate how much you've changed. I hate how you went from one of my favorite people, to my one and only least favorite. I hate all of this, I despise you for everything you've done. I know now though, that you're nothing but a liar, and a coward. I hope that one day, you'll realize that you're wasting your potential. I'm sorry this is what your life has come to. You're in my prayers.

-me.