To The Person Misunderstanding My Compassionate Personality

To The Person Misunderstanding My Compassionate Personality

The compassionate person is often the one who takes the larger hit simply to support the self-preservation of another.

You don't have to be a selfish person to make selfish choices. Some of the most genuinely kind people occasionally disregard the ways in which their decisions affect those around them. They choose to value self-preservation over compassion; it is a natural human instinct. However, it is frustrating nonetheless for those who are forced to endure the heavy weight of consequence.

The compassionate person is often the one who takes the larger hit simply to support the self-preservation of another. They put aside their own personal pain, confusion, sadness, feelings of rejection, and any additional emotions they experience in order to ease the other person's burden. Selfless people see their emotions as unnecessary stress for outsiders. As a result, they conceal their negativity and close themselves off. Sometimes they explode, but they always apologize for their outbursts. Their loved ones are fooled into thinking that everything is as it should be, meanwhile the compassionate individual slowly grows weaker on the inside. Strength is one of their most notable qualities, but it is also an allusion to others.

The position that compassionate individuals place themselves in is not fair, especially if they're made to feel like it is their only option. When your decisions cause others to retreat into themselves, then it may be helpful to reconsider your actions. There are people who love and care about you, by refusing to acknowledge their pain, you are hindering your support network. The more you accidentally push them away, the more they will resent you without realizing it. You put distance where there was none before. While your short term intentions may be justified, it is the long term affects that will inflict the most damage. Just because someone doesn't outwardly express their emotions, doesn't mean that they're not lurking behind the surface. Just because someone says they're OK, doesn't mean that they actually are; they may only be trying to protect you and increase your quality of life.

A compassionate person is very complex. While they fully understand that it is unhealthy for their interactions with others to partially determine their self-worth, sometimes they rely too much on reciprocation, loyalty, empathy, and acknowledgment. If any of these attributes are lacking in their relationships, they begin to doubt themselves. They begin to question what they have done wrong, the value of certain words. When a compassionate person is blindsided or betrayed, they may wonder if they were ever good enough in the first place. This feeling of pent-up anxiety increases the longer they are ignored, the longer they isolate themselves.

If you want to break a compassionate person out of their self-destructive shell, there are only three things you need to do: listen, open your mind, and think. Listening is a skill that we all need to practice more. Talking is typically easier, which is why many people naturally gravitate towards it. Listening requires more flexibility, understanding of concepts beyond your own mind, and patience. Talking emphasizes your point of view, but listening provides you with a whole new perspective. New perspectives give way to a much more open and well-rounded mind. Your belief system is made to be slightly altered or changed entirely. If you always shy away from different opinions, your own opinion will never be as developed and relevant. Thoughts themselves are simple when taken literally, but there are different degrees to which someone can utilize them. Selfish thoughts may be logical and practical, but they will never be truly wise or realistic without the representation of the outside world, interpersonal connections, and Active repercussions. If you care about someone, you have to consider how you think, how they think, and how you think together. That is the basic root of compassion.

While it is a compassionate person's job to enhance their self-confidence, resilience, and overall strength, they should never have to do it alone. They should never have to fight through situations that defy their right to happiness. You will never meet people who are more caring, open-minded, determined, and patient. That being said, don't take advantage of those qualities. Don't give them up unless you absolutely have to. Preservation is important, but if you try hard enough, you can usually discover a healthier alternative than abandoning a situation altogether. Don't turn your back on the people who have always guarded it. Love and respect yourself, but don't forget about the people who love and respect you too.

Cover Image Credit: Public Domain

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A Letter To My Go-To Aunt

Happiness is having the best aunt in the world.

I know I don't say it enough, so let me start off by saying thank you.

You'll never understand how incredibly blessed I am to have you in my life. You'll also never understand how special you are to me and how much I love you.

I can't thank you enough for countless days and nights at your house venting, and never being too busy when I need you. Thank you for the shopping days and always helping me find the best deals on the cutest clothes. For all the appointments I didn't want to go to by myself. Thank you for making two prom days and a graduation party days I could never forget. Thank you for being overprotective when it comes to the men in my life.

Most importantly, thank you for being my support system throughout the numerous highs and lows my life has brought me. Thank you for being honest even when it isn't what I want to hear. Thank you for always keeping my feet on the ground and keeping me sane when I feel like freaking out. Thank you for always supporting whatever dream I choose to chase that day. Thank you for being a second mom. Thank you for bringing me into your family and treating me like one of your own, for making me feel special because you do not have an obligation to spend time with me.

You've been my hero and role model from the time you came into my life. You don't know how to say no when family comes to you for help. You're understanding, kind, fun, full of life and you have the biggest heart. However, you're honest and strong and sometimes a little intimidating. No matter what will always have a special place in my heart.

There is no possible way to ever thank you for every thing you have done for me and will continue to do for me. Thank you for being you.

Cover Image Credit: Pixabay

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Home For The Summer

Home sweet home.


Now that school is finally over, I packed up all my stuff and finally got to go home and be with my family again. More specifically, I got to see my dog.

Moving out was a hassle. I didn't realize how much crap I actually had. Sure, it started off not too bad when I moved in, but over the course of the year, more and more stuff came into my possession. By the time I was supposed to move out, it was like I had twice the amount of stuff from when I started. It took two days to officially move all of my belongings back home.

Since being home, I've noticed a couple of things.

First of all, my mom missed me a lot. Hi, Mom. :)

It's not like when I went to college, I completely disappeared from my mom's life or anything like that. We talked on the phone often, and she would visit me sometimes to take me and my sister out to dinner or something with our dad. Also, with the number of times I had gotten sick throughout the entire year, it was like every other week I came home.

The first day I came home, she made a run to the store and called me asking if there was anything I needed, and I said not to my knowledge. She came home with a crap ton of my favorite ice cream and snacks, just because.

Another thing she's been doing is cooking every night. My mom works during the week, so understandably when she gets home, she doesn't always feel like slaving away in front of the stove to make dinner. However, for whatever reason, my mom has made it her sole mission to make me gain 20 pounds by the time the fall semester comes around.

She knows I hated the food at school, so whenever she cooks dinner, she mentions that I love being home because I get to have real food. I mean, I'm not complaining. Who doesn't love a homecooked meal?

I can tell my dad is pretty happy about me being home with the new change in the menu.

Second of all, for the time being, I have A LOT of free time.

Now, this will change once I get my summer job, but as of right now, I have nothing to do. Both of my parents work during the week, and I didn't really keep in touch with the majority of my high school peers, so I have no one to hang out with. I mean, I could see some of my college buddies and sorority sisters, but everyone lives far as hell away.

This is kind of difficult for me. Not because I can't just spend time alone; I have no problem with that. However, I'm used to having a full schedule. Aside from just being used to it, I like it. I'm one of those people who likes to keep busy.

When I'm out and about or have a lot of things to do, I feel productive. Now, I just feel lazy because I literally have nothing to do. To try and counteract this, I've resorted to doing a personal project throughout the summer.

I just need something to occupy my time. Boredom sucks.

I'm glad to be home, though. Living at college is great, sure, and you have all this freedom to do whatever you want and you won't get in trouble or whatever, but I don't really care about all of that. Family is very important to me.

My mom, as crazy as she is, is my best friend, I tell her everything. Living away from that can really stink. Makes me wonder if that is why I kept getting sick so much. Like it was my body's way of forcing me to go home and be with my family.

This summer is going to be a much-needed break from school. I'm excited to see where things go.


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