To The Person Misunderstanding My Compassionate Personality

To The Person Misunderstanding My Compassionate Personality

The compassionate person is often the one who takes the larger hit simply to support the self-preservation of another.

Public Domain

You don't have to be a selfish person to make selfish choices. Some of the most genuinely kind people occasionally disregard the ways in which their decisions affect those around them. They choose to value self-preservation over compassion; it is a natural human instinct. However, it is frustrating nonetheless for those who are forced to endure the heavy weight of consequence.

The compassionate person is often the one who takes the larger hit simply to support the self-preservation of another. They put aside their own personal pain, confusion, sadness, feelings of rejection, and any additional emotions they experience in order to ease the other person's burden. Selfless people see their emotions as unnecessary stress for outsiders. As a result, they conceal their negativity and close themselves off. Sometimes they explode, but they always apologize for their outbursts. Their loved ones are fooled into thinking that everything is as it should be, meanwhile the compassionate individual slowly grows weaker on the inside. Strength is one of their most notable qualities, but it is also an allusion to others.

The position that compassionate individuals place themselves in is not fair, especially if they're made to feel like it is their only option. When your decisions cause others to retreat into themselves, then it may be helpful to reconsider your actions. There are people who love and care about you, by refusing to acknowledge their pain, you are hindering your support network. The more you accidentally push them away, the more they will resent you without realizing it. You put distance where there was none before. While your short term intentions may be justified, it is the long term affects that will inflict the most damage. Just because someone doesn't outwardly express their emotions, doesn't mean that they're not lurking behind the surface. Just because someone says they're OK, doesn't mean that they actually are; they may only be trying to protect you and increase your quality of life.

A compassionate person is very complex. While they fully understand that it is unhealthy for their interactions with others to partially determine their self-worth, sometimes they rely too much on reciprocation, loyalty, empathy, and acknowledgment. If any of these attributes are lacking in their relationships, they begin to doubt themselves. They begin to question what they have done wrong, the value of certain words. When a compassionate person is blindsided or betrayed, they may wonder if they were ever good enough in the first place. This feeling of pent-up anxiety increases the longer they are ignored, the longer they isolate themselves.

If you want to break a compassionate person out of their self-destructive shell, there are only three things you need to do: listen, open your mind, and think. Listening is a skill that we all need to practice more. Talking is typically easier, which is why many people naturally gravitate towards it. Listening requires more flexibility, understanding of concepts beyond your own mind, and patience. Talking emphasizes your point of view, but listening provides you with a whole new perspective. New perspectives give way to a much more open and well-rounded mind. Your belief system is made to be slightly altered or changed entirely. If you always shy away from different opinions, your own opinion will never be as developed and relevant. Thoughts themselves are simple when taken literally, but there are different degrees to which someone can utilize them. Selfish thoughts may be logical and practical, but they will never be truly wise or realistic without the representation of the outside world, interpersonal connections, and Active repercussions. If you care about someone, you have to consider how you think, how they think, and how you think together. That is the basic root of compassion.

While it is a compassionate person's job to enhance their self-confidence, resilience, and overall strength, they should never have to do it alone. They should never have to fight through situations that defy their right to happiness. You will never meet people who are more caring, open-minded, determined, and patient. That being said, don't take advantage of those qualities. Don't give them up unless you absolutely have to. Preservation is important, but if you try hard enough, you can usually discover a healthier alternative than abandoning a situation altogether. Don't turn your back on the people who have always guarded it. Love and respect yourself, but don't forget about the people who love and respect you too.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Taylar Banks

May 25, 2020: the day that will forever be remembered as the day George Floyd lost his life at the hands of cops.

The day that systematic racism again reared its head at full force in 2020.

Keep Reading... Show less

The worlds of beauty and fashion often collide, whether for good or bad. In both, underrepresentation has always been, and remains to be, a major unresolved issue. After the recent killing of George Floyd, many people are rightfully enraged, compounded by the fact his death in police custody wasn't an isolated incident.

Police brutality against Black people is not new, and isn't going away till we start dedicating resources to fighting it. Many of us, as individuals, have only begun in the last week scratching the surface of what it means to educate ourselves on race, historical race relations, and how to be an ally to the Black community.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

Feel A Lil' Better: Because You Can Still Connect While Disconnecting From Social Media

Your weekly wellness boost from Odyssey.

No matter how good (or bad) you'd describe your health, one thing is for sure: a little boost is ALWAYS a good idea. Whether that's reading a new, motivating book, or listening to a song that speaks to your soul, there are plenty of resources to help your health thrive on any given day.

I don't know if you've heard, but there's a lot going on right now, particularly in relation to George Floyd's death, Black Lives Matter, and public protest of racial injustice in the United States. While we can all agree that this deserves conversations, change, and actionable good, social media arguments with Great Aunt Linda are not where social change begins and ends. Spending too much time scrolling through your phone has never been healthy, but now it's even more addicting — what does that one person from my hometown say about this? How can I further education within discussions? Am I posting enough?

Keep Reading... Show less

I don't know about you, but reading is at the top of my to-do list this summer... especially with all the social distancing I'll still be doing. If, like me, you're hoping to pick up a romantic page-turner (or a couple dozen), here are 23 romance novels by Black authors you'll absolutely LOVE reading.

Keep Reading... Show less

22 Black-Owned Etsy Shops With The Perfect Gifts For Everyone In Your Life — Including You

Treat yourself and your loved ones while supporting Black creatives and artisans.

R-KI-TEKT, Pontie Wax, Lovely Earthlings, and blade + bloom on Etsy

The world is taking action against the injustices and under-representation plaguing Black lives, and one small but impactful thing you can do to actively make a difference is support Black-owned businesses.

Etsy is likely one of your go-to sites for gift-buying, but have you ever paid attention to which independent artists and sellers you're buying from?

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

True Self-Care Is HARD, That Face Mask Isn't Actually Going To Solve Your Problems

There's a line between self-care and self-destruction.

Anyone who hasn't been living under a rock for the past few years has seen something somewhere about self-care whether it was on Facebook, Twitter, or their Instagram feed. Oftentimes it's pictures of celebrities or influencers sipping green smoothies or slathering on mud masks with #selfcare. It's posts like these that made me realize that "self-care" has become the ultimate buzz word, soaring in popularity but in the process, it's lost most of its original meaning. It's time to set the record straight and reclaim the term.

Although self-care has been around for quite some time, within the past few years it's been misconstrued and commodified as our capitalist society tends to do with things it thinks can be profited off. Self-care is now being peddled as something that can be bought and sold on the shelf at Target rather than something that takes real work to achieve. This fake self-care movement is not only enabling people to over-indulge themselves, but it has created a crutch for people to avoid the responsibility of taking true care of themselves. Instead of doing the work that needs to be done, many people fall into the trap of rewarding themselves for doing nothing at all — this can quickly become an unhealthy coping mechanism, especially with corporations cheering us on (to buy their next product). Long, hard day at work? Just grab your third iced coffee of the day! Fight with your SO? Buy that 50-dollar face mask, it'll make you feel better! This is how self-care becomes self-sabotage and self-destructive.

Keep Reading... Show less

Minorities are consistently under-represented in our day-to-day lives, notably in the world of fashion. It's likely you're looking for a way to support black artists. Whether that's the case or you're just a fashion-lover in general, these brands aren't just some of the best black-owned fashion brands — they're some of the most innovative brands of our time, period.

From luxury staples to fun accessories and loungewear, these brands aren't just stunning names you should definitely be following on Instagram, each honors the founder's roots in unique ways with the power of storytelling through artistic expression that manifests in pieces we can't wait to wear.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

10 Home Items You Need For Stress Relief, On The Days You 'Literally Cannot'

Fill your home with peaceful, calming coping mechanisms.

I'd like to think that 2020 is teaching us a lot. Or will teach us a lot. Or will be a story we tell at parties one day. Ultimately, this year has been — and is probably going to continue to be — a bit of a mess.

At the beginning of the year, Australia was on fire and we mourned the death of Kobe Bryant. Then, coronavirus (COVID-19) took our spring and shut us in our homes, inciting panic over public health and sparking political upheaval at every decision made by local and federal officials alike. Now, a week after George Floyd's death at the hands of Minneapolis police officer Derek Chauvin, a nationwide conversation is reignited with protests regarding racial injustice in the United States. There is an enormous amount of tension, hurt, and change that is upon the American people.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments