Everything I Want To Tell The Person I Love But Cannot Be With.

Everything I Want To Tell The Person I Love But Cannot Be With.

I am in pieces. You should be too.
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I am not one to often be influenced by another person. I am very independent, my own thoughts, my own feelings. I have the control. Or so I thought.

You seemed to quite literally just fall into my world without hesitation. You made me feel feelings I never knew existed. I have the cliche "butterflies in my stomach," the "laughing so hard I now have a six pack" moments; all because of you.

You were never like anyone else in my mind. I could never place you and say "you act like *insert name*," you are your own person. You had your own folder. Although we clash on some things (okay a lot of things) I still find myself reflecting back on your views and opinions, genuinely taking them to heart. You're so important to me. I value every word that leaves your mouth, even when it's just "can I have extra guac?"

You see, we had a heart to heart the other day. You were questioning "what this is" or "what it was." My response, "This isn't a this; it can't be, I'm afraid."

I never truly liked the whole "it's not you, it's me" thing, but quite frankly, it is me. I'm the issue. I am the wall. The impassable structure in the road. I am the inequality. The reaction is not in the state of equilibrium because I can't.

"But, you love me?" "I care for you, I won't leave."

I do love you. That's why I can't have you.

Every fiber of my being wants to be incredibly close to you without second thought. My heart has seemed to develop its own thought process when I'm around you; completely bypassing my brain and logic center. Somehow making me into this giddy little girl again without a care in the world. But you see, I am a work in progress. I'm a little lost and a lot unsure.

I have to "relearn" myself. I am very messy, but put together. But sometimes my facade would fade, and you would see a glimpse of my seemingly dark world.

You're honestly the only person who has ever seen me at my complete brokenness; one hundred and ten percent shatter. But you don't deserve the girl who needs a tune up. You deserve the world, and I, sir, am not that.

"You're being harsh. I love you for you."

But you won't. You'll leave.

I'm terrified. "Opening my heart." Letting you in completely. Woah. Then one day you just are gone. Leaving me alone to fight my own battles once again. You don't deserve that.

I am not saying this to hurt you or to make you feel bad because it's killing me. I don't want you to wait for me because I am not entirely sure I will ever be ready.

You see, I want so much more for you. I want you to find someone that can give you their everything. I want you to be their sun. You should be center stage all of the time. Someone should fall completely head over heels for you; and they will trust me.

I'll be okay.

So, this is goodbye. Goodbye to the person I love. I hope you find happiness in all that you do.

Cover Image Credit: https://www.pexels.com/photo/black-pen-on-white-book-page-159621/

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​An Open Letter To The People Who Don’t Tip Their Servers

This one's for you.
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Dear Person Who Has No Idea How Much The 0 In The “Tip:" Line Matters,

I want to by asking you a simple question: Why?

Is it because you can't afford it? Is it because you are blind to the fact that the tip you leave is how the waiter/waitress serving you is making their living? Is it because you're just lazy and you “don't feel like it"?

Is it because you think that, while taking care of not only your table but at least three to five others, they took too long bringing you that side of ranch dressing? Or is it just because you're unaware that as a server these people make $2.85 an hour plus TIPS?

The average waiter/waitress is only supposed to be paid $2.13 an hour plus tips according to the U.S. Department of Labor.

That then leaves the waiter/waitress with a paycheck with the numbers **$0.00** and the words “Not a real paycheck." stamped on it. Therefore these men and women completely rely on the tips they make during the week to pay their bills.

So, with that being said, I have a few words for those of you who are ignorant enough to leave without leaving a few dollars in the “tip:" line.

Imagine if you go to work, the night starts off slow, then almost like a bomb went off the entire workplace is chaotic and you can't seem to find a minute to stop and breathe, let alone think about what to do next.

Imagine that you are helping a total of six different groups of people at one time, with each group containing two to 10 people.

Imagine that you are working your ass off to make sure that these customers have the best experience possible. Then you cash them out, you hand them a pen and a receipt, say “Thank you so much! It was a pleasure serving you, have a great day!"

Imagine you walk away to attempt to start one of the 17 other things you need to complete, watch as the group you just thanked leaves, and maybe even wave goodbye.

Imagine you are cleaning up the mess that they have so kindly left behind, you look down at the receipt and realize there's a sad face on the tip line of a $24.83 bill.

Imagine how devastated you feel knowing that you helped these people as much as you could just to have them throw water on the fire you need to complete the night.

Now, realize that whenever you decide not to tip your waitress, this is nine out of 10 times what they go through. I cannot stress enough how important it is for people to realize that this is someone's profession — whether they are a college student, a single mother working their second job of the day, a new dad who needs to pay off the loan he needed to take out to get a safer car for his child, your friend, your mom, your dad, your sister, your brother, you.

If you cannot afford to tip, do not come out to eat. If you cannot afford the three alcoholic drinks you gulped down, plus your food and a tip do not come out to eat.

If you cannot afford the $10 wings that become half-off on Tuesdays plus that water you asked for, do not come out to eat.

If you cannot see that the person in front of you is working their best to accommodate you, while trying to do the same for the other five tables around you, do not come out to eat. If you cannot realize that the man or woman in front of you is a real person, with their own personal lives and problems and that maybe these problems have led them to be the reason they are standing in front of you, then do not come out to eat.

As a server myself, it kills me to see the people around me being deprived of the money that they were supposed to earn. It kills me to see the three dollars you left on a $40 bill. It kills me that you cannot stand to put yourself in our shoes — as if you're better than us. I wonder if you realize that you single-handedly ruined part of our nights.

I wonder if maybe one day you will be in our shoes, and I hope to God no one treats you how you have treated us. But if they do, then maybe you'll realize how we felt when you left no tip after we gave you our time.

Cover Image Credit: Hailea Shallock

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Looking for a fright? Try "Dying Light."

Good night, good luck.

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"This is Jade, get to the nearest safehouse and wait until dawn... Good night, and good luck." The radio goes off as your watch beeps. It is now 21:00, and you are in danger. In the night, things are never the same...

Dying Light is one of the most iconic zombie games of this era, featuring never before seen concepts in its genre. It also features one of the most scary features of all, drawing inspiration from Minecraft. Here are all the things that makes Dying Light terrifying. Beware, violent images ahead.

A better "Dead Island"

"Dying Light" was developed by Techland - a company famous for its prior zombie game: Dead Island. Dead Island was a hit due to its new mechanics involving heavy emphasis on melee combat and weapon crafting. This put players in a tough spot because unlike its predecessors of "Left 4 Dead" or "Killing Floor," guns are a rarity and survival depends on resourcefulness.

After the failed release of "Dead Island: Riptide" - a low effort expansion - Techland parted ways with their publisher Deep Silver, in pursuit of a game that they can formulate on their own.

Dying Light - Launch Trailer | PS4 Youtube

Flash forward to 2015, and "Dying Light" was released with massive success. It featured functions not available in "Dead Island" while debuting a new feature: parkour. Yes, you read that right, parkour.

Parkour?

Parkour was an interesting system to be implemented in a zombie game, but it would make total sense when you think more about it. Imagine the streets being filled with mindless zombies. One bite, and you're infected. Leave untreated, and you're gone. The rooftops is the only safe option, and you need the athleticism to scale buildings and run away from danger. In Dying Light, you're not a hunter. You're the hunted.

The night

Fear not the day, for night is your true enemy. In "Dying Light," zombies are infected with a special virus. This strain of virus is afraid of UV light, meaning that during the day, the zombies' motor functions are extremely suppressed, making them sluggish and dumb. But when night comes, the virus unleashes its full potential, turning slow zombies into athletic and crazed chasers that can pursuit you for miles at incredible speeds.

Run and pray they don't catch you Giphy

Other than that, at night, a special mutation of zombies appear called "Volatiles." They are athletically superior, incredibly strong, and are terrifying. They usually emit a gargling sound and makes clicking noises, both of which join together for a scary combo. Plus, in the night, you are vulnerable. Sneaking while watching out for monsters in the dark isn't exactly easy.

Equipped with a UV Flashlight with limited battery life, you are left with only one weapon for self-defense if you ever find yourself in a pursuit. And in all cases, just run.

Noises

"Dying Light" has an interesting approach to noise. Zombies are very sensitive to noises. A gunshot, an explosion, a car alarm, or a loud crash onto a crumbling building could attract hordes to your position. In this game, noises determine your survival at night. Know when to throw a firecracker for distraction or when to trip car alarm traps could mean the difference between surviving a night and not seeing the day.


Dying Light Noise Attracts Virals www.youtube.com


Closing words

"Dying Light" promises a unique zombie experience different from most games. It's gritty, it's scary, and it's fun - these standards are those that game developers could only dream about when designing a zombie franchise. Nothing is more bone-chilling than hearing a volatile scream as the night comes, an explosion going off nearby, or when the sun sets gently behind the slums of Harran. But zombies aren't the only threats. Humans are an entire different ball game, but that's up to you to explore.

Good night and good luck...

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