Social media is filled with a lot of hate right now and I figured why not focus on something that is a common misconception for both men and women. Yes, I am talking about the perpetually single woman. An odd topic, but I think it is something that this society needs to hear. "What is a perpetually single woman?" you might ask? Well, she is probably known by many and is the woman who is generally always single or has been single most of her life. She is independent and strong. If you can't think of such a person in your life you can pretend you know me. The wonderful thing about being single is you really find out who you are and you learn to figure out how to do things on your own.
People often think that if someone has been single for a long period of time something has to be wrong with them, right? Well actually no; I'm about to bite that myth in the butt. I have been there in that frame of mind comparing myself to other women and trying to figure out why they are dating people and I am not. Am I less desirable? Am I not as funny, skinny, pretty, etc? All of these were questions I asked myself and then I realized that I was basing my self-worth on what the world was telling me I was worth.
Society tells women that we are only worth as much as looks and weight, nothing more. I do think in a few years that with some improvement we can change this mindset and it has already started, but the problem is not just with men and the media and other people. We all too often blame others for our own problems. YES, in this case, other people are the problem but they are not the only problem. Women now, hear me out, the problem begins with us. We buy into the lies that the world tells us and we let people treat us this way. We are part of the problem and must be a part of the solution.
Something I have learned in my time of being single is that I cannot get my self-worth from a guy or anyone else for that matter. Looking for my identity in others does not work it only makes me crumble more. Being perpetually single has not hurt me, it has helped me. Guys fail to understand that honestly, we are the women to go for instead of the girls who hop from relationship to relationship. We know who we are and what we want.
Perpetually single girls are strong; we have had to go through the storms in life with no boyfriend's shoulder to cry on. We can take care of ourselves and sometimes we will even pay for food if you take us on a date. It isn't a sign of us being rude or thinking we are richer than you, we just have learned a sense of independence. We know that being alone sometimes is good. Having friends that you hang out with outside your significant other is a good idea and important. You and your partner have become one through a relationship, but there still needs to be two identities allowed to express themselves at any time.
We understand privacy because again we have gotten used to it for so long that us knowing all your texts, passwords, and bank account numbers are not needed. We won't run you dry or need you 24/7. Independence has taught us a lot, and don't worry, as new things come along we will come to you for support and the great thing is we can support you in tough times. We have learned that we do not need you to complete us, we just want to be with you. We don't need you to support us, we want you to support our dreams and goals in life.
Most importantly we women who are perpetually single are fierce and independent not because we are unwanted or unworthy. We want what is best for ourselves so we don't settle and we make smart decisions on who we choose to date. If you have managed to capture one of us then you have already won. Being perpetually single has taught me a lot about myself, and I smile knowing the person I have become because of it. Never doubt yourself because your worth does not come from the amount of guys knocking at your door each night. Your worth comes from a Heavenly Father who created you perfectly in His image. You must believe in yourself before the world can believe in you.
See, so women who are perpetually single don't have to have something wrong with them. Maybe it is just that they need time to figure out who they are before anyone else can. Going for these women is hard because we get comfortable being alone, but don't let us. Never forget who you are and the world won't forget if you don't let it. Be strong and independent. Cherish this time, cause I know I have!