Perpetually Single Women

Perpetually Single Women

The best kind of women
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Social media is filled with a lot of hate right now and I figured why not focus on something that is a common misconception for both men and women. Yes, I am talking about the perpetually single woman. An odd topic, but I think it is something that this society needs to hear. "What is a perpetually single woman?" you might ask? Well, she is probably known by many and is the woman who is generally always single or has been single most of her life. She is independent and strong. If you can't think of such a person in your life you can pretend you know me. The wonderful thing about being single is you really find out who you are and you learn to figure out how to do things on your own.

People often think that if someone has been single for a long period of time something has to be wrong with them, right? Well actually no; I'm about to bite that myth in the butt. I have been there in that frame of mind comparing myself to other women and trying to figure out why they are dating people and I am not. Am I less desirable? Am I not as funny, skinny, pretty, etc? All of these were questions I asked myself and then I realized that I was basing my self-worth on what the world was telling me I was worth.

Society tells women that we are only worth as much as looks and weight, nothing more. I do think in a few years that with some improvement we can change this mindset and it has already started, but the problem is not just with men and the media and other people. We all too often blame others for our own problems. YES, in this case, other people are the problem but they are not the only problem. Women now, hear me out, the problem begins with us. We buy into the lies that the world tells us and we let people treat us this way. We are part of the problem and must be a part of the solution.

Something I have learned in my time of being single is that I cannot get my self-worth from a guy or anyone else for that matter. Looking for my identity in others does not work it only makes me crumble more. Being perpetually single has not hurt me, it has helped me. Guys fail to understand that honestly, we are the women to go for instead of the girls who hop from relationship to relationship. We know who we are and what we want.

Perpetually single girls are strong; we have had to go through the storms in life with no boyfriend's shoulder to cry on. We can take care of ourselves and sometimes we will even pay for food if you take us on a date. It isn't a sign of us being rude or thinking we are richer than you, we just have learned a sense of independence. We know that being alone sometimes is good. Having friends that you hang out with outside your significant other is a good idea and important. You and your partner have become one through a relationship, but there still needs to be two identities allowed to express themselves at any time.

We understand privacy because again we have gotten used to it for so long that us knowing all your texts, passwords, and bank account numbers are not needed. We won't run you dry or need you 24/7. Independence has taught us a lot, and don't worry, as new things come along we will come to you for support and the great thing is we can support you in tough times. We have learned that we do not need you to complete us, we just want to be with you. We don't need you to support us, we want you to support our dreams and goals in life.

Most importantly we women who are perpetually single are fierce and independent not because we are unwanted or unworthy. We want what is best for ourselves so we don't settle and we make smart decisions on who we choose to date. If you have managed to capture one of us then you have already won. Being perpetually single has taught me a lot about myself, and I smile knowing the person I have become because of it. Never doubt yourself because your worth does not come from the amount of guys knocking at your door each night. Your worth comes from a Heavenly Father who created you perfectly in His image. You must believe in yourself before the world can believe in you.

See, so women who are perpetually single don't have to have something wrong with them. Maybe it is just that they need time to figure out who they are before anyone else can. Going for these women is hard because we get comfortable being alone, but don't let us. Never forget who you are and the world won't forget if you don't let it. Be strong and independent. Cherish this time, cause I know I have!

Cover Image Credit: Magic 4 Walls

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5 Perks Of Having A Long-Distance Best Friend

The best kind of long-distance relationship.
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Sometimes, people get annoyed when girls refer to multiple people as their "best friend," but they don't understand. We have different types of best friends. There's the going out together best friend, the see each other everyday best friend and the constant, low maintenance best friend.

While I'm lucky enough to have two out of the three at the same school as me, my "low maintenance" best friend goes to college six hours from Baton Rouge.

This type of friend is special because no matter how long you go without talking or seeing each other, you're always insanely close. Even though I miss her daily, having a long-distance best friend has its perks. Here are just a few of them...

1. Getting to see each other is a special event.

Sometimes when you see someone all the time, you take that person and their friendship for granted. When you don't get to see one of your favorite people very often, the times when you're together are truly appreciated.

2. You always have someone to give unbiased advice.

This person knows you best, but they probably don't know the people you're telling them about, so they can give you better advice than anyone else.

3. You always have someone to text and FaceTime.

While there may be hundreds of miles between you, they're also just a phone call away. You know they'll always be there for you even when they can't physically be there.

4. You can plan fun trips to visit each other.

When you can visit each other, you get to meet the people you've heard so much about and experience all the places they love. You get to have your own college experience and, sometimes, theirs, too.

5. You know they will always be a part of your life.

If you can survive going to school in different states, you've both proven that your friendship will last forever. You both care enough to make time for the other in the midst of exams, social events, and homework.

The long-distance best friend is a forever friend. While I wish I could see mine more, I wouldn't trade her for anything.

Cover Image Credit: Just For Laughs-Chicago

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When Everyone Around You Is In a Relationship And You're Still Single

You might feel pressure to start a relationship, but reconsider...

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I'm not sure how or when exactly it happened, but it suddenly seems like everyone I know is in a relationship. While I'm happy for them, it can be kinda...depressing. Nauseating. Exhausting.

It builds slowly at first: the subtle side-eye you give your friend as they're on the phone with their S.O., the little pang of jealousy you get when your cousin posts their engagement pictures on Facebook, the way you feel when your Snapchat Stories are full of people on cute dinner dates.

Suddenly, it's a Thursday afternoon and you just snapped over an Instagram post of your friend and his boyfriend on their anniversary. We've all been there. I may or may not be there currently.

The worst advice you can get when you're feeling down about not having an S.O. is "Don't worry! You'll find someone!"(Especially when it's coming from someone in a happy relationship).

I'm here to give you the actual advice that you (and I) need to hear. You do not need a relationship to be happy, satisfied, or whole.

Here's the truth: you're gonna be just fine without a relationship. You are young. You are educated. You are ambitious and have your whole future ahead of you.

You are a complete person on your own who does not need another person to validate you or make your life worth enjoying. I'm not saying a relationship can't be satisfying and fun. I am saying that being in a relationship is not the end all, be all of happiness.

If you are spending your time waiting for a relationship and looking for it in every person you meet, you can end up missing out on so much of your life. Instead of being jealous of every couple around you and being bitter that you can't seem to find the "right person," try figuring out how to enjoy spending time as an individual.

You will have more time to devote to exploring new interests, developing new skills, and meeting new people. Your social, emotional, and mental wellbeing will become priorities.

Plus, just because you aren't in a relationship or looking for a relationship, that doesn't mean you won't have romantic/sexual experiences. You can still go on dates and develop relationships with people you are attracted to without the pressure to turn it into a serious relationship. Once you remove that expectation from your mind, you might even find it easier to meet, talk to, and connect with people.

When you stop focusing all your energy and hopes onto being in a romantic relationship, you open the door to new experiences, opportunities, and people. Most importantly, you are able to refocus and recenter your life around growth as an individual, which will lead to a healthier and more solid basis for any future relationships.

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