"So, I guess we are who were are for a lot of reasons. And maybe we'll never know most of them. But even if we don't have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there." -- Stephen Chbosky
For the longest time, I wanted nothing more than to be the social butterfly and have the ability to talk to everyone in a room. But that was never me and probably never will be. I used to be ashamed to be the shy and quiet person, yet now I know that everything has its perks. When sitting in the back of the classroom, standing along the walls of parties, or just wandering around the empty isles of a book store, you learn a few things about people and about life.
To start, you learn to listen. Leaves rustling on the ground, waves crashing on the sand, children's laughter at a playground, these are the things that many people don't take the time to listen to. However, it's the lessons you learn when listening that make the biggest difference. There are some things that you can comprehend more than everyone else, things that make you compassionate and understanding. Everyone has a past, and everyone has a story. Most people spend their entire life trying to hide the worst parts of their stories. Those of us who take the time to listen will be able to better understand and most importantly, know the part of the story that they aren't telling you.
A wallflower is defined as a person who, because of shyness, remains on the sidelines of social situations. A loner or a loser or a nobody, being a wallflower is never a desired status. This title has many negative connotations and I was one to believe in them. Never did I see the status of being a wallflower as a positive status to have. It wasn't until the "Perks of Being a Wallflower" started to gain massive popularity that I was able to accept my social status.
For those who have no idea what the "Perks of Being a Wallflower" is, let me briefly explain the book/film that helped to start the change of how I saw myself. Stephen Chbosky first wrote the book in a style that made it seem as if it was a collection of letters written by the main character, Charlie. Charlie is the perfect personification of what it means to be a wallflower. The book follows his struggles and triumphs (mostly struggles, if I'm being honest) during his freshmen year of high school and how being the outsider is the result of it all. As sibling senior misfits, Patrick and Sam befriend and allow Charlie to see that there isn't anything wrong with him and that it is okay to be an outsider. This is a wonderful and very short book for those that are not massive readers. Starring Logan Lerman, Emma Watson, and Ezra Miller, the movie is also one of the best book to film adaptations that I have seen as the author is also the director in this case.
The book and film help to redefine what it means to be a wallflower. No longer am I ashamed or embarrassed of my title given to me by society. I do see things and I do understand. To many people, I am just another person in the background. Yet to the few people who take the time to let me open up, I am so much more. Wallflowers may stay to the side most of the time, but they can also be some of the most interesting people if you only get to know them.
We all have a bit of wallflower in us, and that's okay.
