It is Perfectly OK To Be Alone Because It Makes You Realize How Strong You Really Are

It is Perfectly OK To Be Alone Because It Makes You Realize How Strong You Really Are

That's when you will find your true self.
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It is not the end of the world if your "perfect" relationship ends. It is perfectly okay to be independent and not have a boyfriend or girlfriend. For me just getting out of a relationship that I loved was one of the hardest things to do especially with the semester ending. I expected so much for this summer and then he ended it before it could even begin. Every day since we broke up I have been figuring out how strong of a person I really am.

You are STRONG.

Whether you think so or not, you are strong. I did not realize how strong I was until I started doing things to better myself. Getting out of a year-long relationship I thought it was the end of the world. I thought I lost everything, but in reality, I was just sad because now I was going to be "alone" for the first time in over a year.

No one is weak for missing their ex-significant other. It takes time to move on, but the key is to actually let yourself move on. It is not about finding someone else, it is about knowing who you are as a person and letting go and being your strong, independent self.

If someone else comes along, it wasn't meant to be.

If your last relationship did not end badly like mine it can cause confusion. My ex and I had a very healthy relationship, but he was not ready to give me the time I needed. With this being said I am in no way looking for another relationship right now.

I need to focus on myself and making myself happy before I start anything up again. If someone happens to come along so be it, that just means my last relationship was not meant to be. If he comes back to me, then I know he is the one.

Distract yourself.

If you are the type of person who only has a few best friends like me then distractions are key. Sometimes you won't always have your friends around for whatever reason and you need to find things you love to do. For me, that is my new internship this summer. I am going to be working with kids all day and I honestly am thrilled.

Every day I will be able to distract myself from any doubts I might have about myself and my last relationship. If you do not have a job you love, then go out and find something you do love. You can start running, doing yoga or just going on hikes. Sometimes just staying in and watching Netflix is enough. The key is to not think about what something could be. Live in the now and keep your head up.

You are never actually alone.

No matter how alone you may feel you are never really alone. You have so many people who love and cherish you whether that be your family or your friends. Even that girl or guy you happened to talk to twice in class or worked on a group project with would be there for you if you needed something.

It is surprising how good some people are and it's okay to look to them for comfort. Ever since my last relationship ended I have called my mom every day and have been talking to my girl-friends a lot more. It is the time where I need them most and I cannot thank them enough for always being there for me.

Even on your darkest days, there will always be light. Do not let your head down. It is okay to be on your own. You are a strong independent person who deserves the best. Whatever the world throws at you take it in with confidence. Show the world who you really are, but most importantly show yourself who you really are.

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Want To Be A Better Boyfriend? Try These 5 Tricks

4. Listen to her.

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Some days, it seems like girlfriends are constantly asking for more, and while they may be annoying, there are a few simple ways to stop her nagging and win her praise.

1. Pay attention to her.

I promise you, she is dropping hints every day. These may sound like "Awh, look at all the pretty flowers" or "I haven't been to Boba House in so long!"

2. Plan dates. 

Text her while she is at school or work, and tell her to be ready when you get home or by a certain time. Give her an idea of how dressed up she should be, but don't tell her where you're going. Then, take her to her favorite restaurant, one she's mentioned lately, or to a new movie she'd been looking forward to!

3. Pick up small gifts for her.

This doesn't have to be anything expensive, but next time you're at the grocery store pick up her favorite candy, or a small flower bouquet. Just something little that will show her you were thinking of her when you weren't together.

4. Listen to her. 

Ask about her day, and when she tells you what Sarah did at work, ask her the next day or a few days later if things got better. Take interest in her life and remind her occasionally refer back to old topics to prove you do listen.

5. Get her involved in your interests.

It doesn't all have to be about her! Ask her to watch the game with you, or to go out with you to hang with your friends. She wants to be just as involved in your life as she wants you to be involved in hers!

At the end of the day, every relationship is different. Take this advice as vaguely as needed, and learn your partner and what they expect from you! Happy dating! :)

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I Wasted 8 Months Of My Life On A Boy Who Didn't Care So You Don't Have To

Learn from me, ladies.

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Let's be honest with ourselves: Endings suck.

The end of friendships, relationships, and other emotional ties is almost never a clean break, no matter how hard you try to make it one. Once things end, you start trying to figure out where things went wrong.

Was it you? Was it them? Could you have fixed it?

The simple answer to all of those is no. It's no one's fault, and no amount of make-up sex or talking it out could have fixed it.

The messy answer, however, is yes. Sometimes someone is to blame. Sometimes we're dumb enough to think talking and sex and whatever else can fix it. I said no was the simple answer, remember?

Let me tell you a little story. I spent eight months of my life developing feelings for a boy. I use the term boy in all seriousness because no man would let something like this carry on for so long. I was envisioning a future with this guy, planning it in the solace of my own space, making jokes to him about how I couldn't wait to graduate college to begin this life, wherever it may take us. I had my qualms and little moments where things seemed off, but we'd spend the night together and then suddenly, quickly, things were perfect again.

Was it because I was physical with him that things would go from mediocre to perfect? Yes. Was I smart enough to figure that out before it was too late? No.

This carried on for a while because I let it. He would go days without speaking to me, which carried into weeks, and I would allow him to continue the cycle because I would come back every time, more eager than before. He made me happy. When things were good, they were good. That was enough.

I looked passed all the bullshit for a few good evenings here and there for eight months. When things came to an abrupt halt, he put the blame on me for pushing him into something he wasn't ready for.

Now, let's talk about my mistakes:

Should it have been red flag number one that he wouldn't make time for me except at night? Yes.

Should I have felt that any of the bad emotional experiences that happened were my fault? No.

Did I care for him so much that I stupidly looked beyond all of the bad stuff? Yes.

From one girl to another, don't make the mistakes I did. The right guy won't let things go on for months only to hurt you in the end. The right guy won't give you a few good moments amongst times of questioning everything. Instead, while every moment won't be happy and serene, the majority of them will.

If you spend more time worrying about fitting into the mold he wants you to be instead of being yourself, he's not the one.

If he acts like he doesn't care, he doesn't care.

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