Have you ever looked at someone and thought, “He/She is so perfect”? Have you ever looked on Facebook or Instagram and found yourself comparing your lifestyle to what others post? Have you ever felt like a robot, just doing what others want or behaving how others want you to behave? I have thought a lot lately about the word perfect. I know a lot of people who would describe their life as perfect or their outfit as perfect. Now, there is nothing wrong with the two statements above. It’s just that the word perfect has different meanings to different people. The internet defines perfect as “absolute and complete.” After reading this, I decided that I actually do not want to be perfect.
I will be brutally honest. Ever since I was a little girl, my habit of people-pleasing became pretty obsessive. I acted the way people wanted me to act. I did only what was expected of me, not necessarily what I really wanted to do. I "agreed" with others’ opinions, even if I didn’t agree. I was the “nice” girl. I was the “smart” girl. I was the “polite” girl. I was the girl that never got angry. I was the girl who never really showed her feelings. More importantly, despite all the pain and what I was truly feeling, I will admit that I put on a mask. I put on the fake smile and I said that everything was fine. I did this because I thought I had to be perfect. There’s that word again-perfect. I could never “act” out of character. I felt that I could never show my true emotions or say what I wanted to say without someone interrupting me or just not paying attention.
If you haven’t noticed by now, I love browsing the Internet. One day, while I was on YouTube, I found this video titled, “Real Beauty: I was wrong.” It was uploaded by singer-songwriter Alex G. On another note, she is an excellent singer and you should check out her channel. Anyway, she discussed how in her first “real beauty” video, she now realized how unauthentic she felt. She expressed that talking about “real” beauty while looking “perfect” with complete make-up and hair done just didn’t feel right. In the recent video, she is bare-faced and her hair is in a messy bun. She expressed that she wanted her fans and viewers to know that they are enough just as they are right now, among other encouraging sayings.
I will admit that I cried after watching the video. I cried because she expressed exactly what I’ve been feeling for most of my life. Once you put out a persona, people think that that is always how you are, no matter what. People put you in boxes and have unrealistic expectations for you. I am going to be very honest: I feel unauthentic sometimes. Now don’t get me wrong, I love being bubbly, funny, and joyful. Yet, there are other sides of me that I hide away because I am sometimes afraid of what people think. Once again, I sometimes think I have to be perfect.
Based on the definition, I don’t want to be “complete” just yet. Like you, I am learning how to accept my imperfections. I am slowly learning that it’s okay to not be “on” sometimes. It’s okay for me to be kind to myself.
I want to encourage you not be “perfect.” As I try to take my own advice, I want you to learn to accept your imperfections. It’s OK to not be “complete.” Beyonce did say that perfection is a disease of a nation after all and you can’t argue with Beyonce.